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“Fuck,” I groan.

“I’m not sure where his head was because he knew that I wouldn’t say anything. Even if something were to get out, it would be our word against theirs. There would be no way that Devin would have ever believed anyone in the Diablos. But he didn’t care.”

“So what happened?” The voice comes from behind me. When I sit up and look, Tessa is standing behind me. Unshed tears settle in her big brown eyes.

“He fell in line, I guess you can say. But the anger of not getting what he wanted still simmered under the surface. He never looked me in the eyes after the day at the clinic. I couldn’t look at myself for that matter. I became depressed,” she continues. “I didn’t just lose the baby, but a part of me died right along with it. I wouldn’t leave the house. I wouldn’t participate in anything to have to do with the club. I wouldn’t let Hound touch me. I was disgusted by him. I couldn’t understand how a man who used to look at me like I hung the moon could destroy me all in the name of the club. All because he wanted more out of life. A life he chose. I didn’t ask for any of that.

“When he started to come home smelling like a cheap perfume, I knew he’d been dipping into the club sluts, and I was done. He was living like he didn’t do anything wrong, while I was dying inside. He did this to me, and he acted like everything was fine while I continued to struggle. The day that I planned on leaving, I packed our bags.” She looks at me. “Yes, our bags, Hawking. The plan all along was to take you with me. I thought he was on a run, so I was going to pick you up from school and leave town. But when I heard the roar of the bikes, I panicked. I couldn’t think fast enough, so I ran down the steps and threw what I could into the trunk of my car. There were still bags on our bed, and when he pushed off his bike, he walked right past me and into the house. I should have left right then. I should have driven to your school and grabbed you then, but I didn’t think fast enough. I also didn’t realize that I was being watched.”

When I feel Tessa’s hand on my shoulder, I reach up and take it in mine. “Go on,” I tell her.

“He roared, he was so angry. But so was I. I was tired of being his doormat. I was tired of him taking me for granted, so I stood my ground. When he came barreling down the steps and got into my face, I stood there. I wasn’t about to back down. I told him I was leaving and he laughed at me. He told me that his bitch wasn’t going anywhere and no one was going to walk away from him. He was a completely different man than the one I had loved for so many years. When I tried to walk away, he grabbed me by my neck. He told me that…” She takes another breath.

I feel a slight push on my shoulder, so I get up and go to her. I wrap my arms around her while she sobs into the crook of my neck. “Shh…” I try to calm her.

“H–He told me that he would find me and kill you if I tried to take his son from him. That no whore would raise him. I–I’m sorry that I left you.”

My eyes squeeze shut as Tessa’s quietly sniffs back sobs behind me. “Mom.” I tighten my hold on her, comforting her while she cries. I find my own comfort in the feel of her tears soaking my shirt. Years of regret and pain come pouring out of her, and I’m glad I’m the one who can be there holding her while she does it.

After a while, I feel Rose push back, so I let go of her. “Hawking? What are you doing here?” Her eyes have clouded over.

I’ve lost her, but right now, maybe it’s for the best.

Tessa

“Oh my God,” I say as we leave Rose’s room.

“No kidding.”

I guide him towards the patio area because I’m sure he needs some fresh air. “I had no idea any of that happened,” I say as I push through the doors.

“How could you? I didn’t know until Dyke pulled some of her medical files. I guess she’s confessed this to a couple of therapists over the years. I have to say, I wasn’t sure if I believed it until today.”

I turn towards him and take his hands in mine. “Is that why you’ve been more open-minded about Rose? Because of what you read?”

He nods then drops his gaze to the floor. I reach up and run my fingers through the softness of his short hair.

“I have so many more questions, but I’m not sure Rose can answer them, and I’m not sure if I can even ask some of the old-timers,” he tells me. His eyes drift past me. “Rhea.” She’s leaning against the soda machine that’s on the other side of the patio area. She has a can of soda in one hand and a Styrofoam cup in the other.

“I’m right here. There’s no reason for you to be yelling, brother.” When her eyes land on me, she huffs and rolls them.

“I’m glad you waited.”

“Yeah, well, I didn’t feel like walking back home, so I thought I’d get you to do your brotherly duties and give me a ride home.”

“How are you drunk again?” I ask.

Her eyes narrow at me. “I’m not in the mood to deal with your judgey attitude, Miss Perfect. If that’s how it’s going to be, then I’ll be leaving.”

“Don’t.” Hawk reaches out and grabs her arm, stopping her retreat. “Tessa isn’t asking an unreasonable question. Being that you’re not of age–”

“Wait, she’s not twenty-one?”

“No, she’s twenty,” Hawk confirms.

Now it’s my eyes that narrow. “You were in the bar I worked at, drunk off your ass, and you aren’t old enough to be drinking. Unbelievable.”

“Hey!” she barks at me. “What did I just tell you with the judgments?”