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“Yes. He took me to the office too. I wanted to show my face. Get some things from the office that I need at home.”

“All right… Still not sure what this has to do with me.”

“He informed me that you let the New York publishing deal go.”

I can feel the color drop from my face because I now know I have to tell him the truth. I was going to sugar coat it when the time came. I don’t want him to feel guilty for my decision because, ultimately, it was mine. Harold was more than willing to extend my option, again. He told me during one conversation that he’d fly my editor out to work with me for a few days, but I couldn’t do it.

I clear my throat before I make an effort to speak. “Yes, that’s right.” I choose this time to take a seat, needing more space between Heath and me. I try to distract myself with the papers that I’m mindlessly straightening.

“Why?”

This entire thing is coming out of left field for me. In the past, Heath never approached me on things when it came to my writing. He always acted like it didn’t exist. I know this is him being more in tune with the things that matter to me, but I’m a bit shocked that he’s showing this much concern about a decision I made when we weren’t technically together.

I bite the inside of my cheek as I continue to fiddle with the papers. “It wasn’t the right time for me,” I finally say.

“Why?” he asks again.

I swallow down the emotion so that I can talk to him about this without any reaction on my part. I don’t need him pissed off at himself. “Listen, they needed too much from me in too little of time. I’m a teacher first before I’m an author, and they hit me with everything in the middle of the school year. Then–”

“Then I had a heart attack.” His eyes stay fixed on me while he waits for my response.

I push from my chair, coming around to him. “It wasn’t just about your heart attack, Heath.”

“Don’t, Whitney. Don’t do that, don’t make excuses. You stepped up like you always do, and you put me before you. I see you continuing to do that with the kids, but you shouldn’t have done that when it came to me. I could have hired someone to help if you had other priorities.”

“You’re a priority.”

“The priority that you feel towards me is the reason why you left in the first place. You told me you weren’t happy. That we weren’t happy and I know it’s because most of the time I didn’t see the things that you needed from me. I needed to put you first, and I never did. You need to learn to you put yourself first and I thought you did. You moved out. Started a life and you learned to do you. But the very first time I’m in crisis, you stopped living your life, and you began to live my life. Again.”

“It’s because I love you!” I holler. “And I’d do it again.” Intense feelings of emotion overcome me, and the tears fall from my eyes. “I’d put my life on hold again,” I sniff, “if it means having you here with me, with the kids,” I cry.

He stands, wrapping his arms around me. “Shh, baby,” he whispers “It’s all right.” My body shakes as the tears flow. “Whit, baby, you need to call that publisher guy and see if you can still make it happen.”

“I don’t want to,” I whine.

I can feel Heath’s chest rumble with laughter. “Yeah, babe, I’m sure you don’t, but you need to. We both know you’ve got what it takes. We both know you deserve this shot and I’m not going to allow you to miss it.”