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My chest is tight, and I feel like I’m going to crawl right out of my skin.

Cash caught me off guard. I was calling him to vent, to ask his advice, to see what he thought. And then he just ended it. He said we were just having fun.

Is that what it was?

This isn’t my idea of fun.

I wouldn’t define our relationship as fun either.

Fun is a night out dancing with your friends.

Drinking wine and laughing.

Going on vacation.

Falling in love is so much more than fun.

To me it was anyway.

And now the emptiness is overwhelming.

My phone rings again.

Nolan.

I sigh but answer it. “Hey, kid.”

“How were your meetings?” he asks immediately.

“They were frustrating,” I admit. “But I have good news for you.”

“I can come?”

“Yup.”

“You are the best sister ever!” he yells.

“But there’s a downside.”

“Uh oh.”

“I’m taking a job that’s going to take me to New Zealand for about eighteen months.”

“Oh, wow. Starting when?”

“Probably not until next summer, and if that’s the case, we may go over there together. But after that, I won’t be able to have you come visit.”

“You won’t even be home for Christmas?”

For some reason, that makes me teary-eyed.

“I don’t know yet,” I say softly.

“You okay, Maya?” Nolan may be a teenager, but he’s a good kid. “You sound funny.”

“It’s just been a really long, frustrating day.”

“Can I help?”