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“I want to be ready. I hate the fact that I’m still letting her do this to me.”
“So don’t.”
“Don’t what?”
“Stop giving her control of your life, your feelings, your ability to move on. She has. So, why would you let her live rent-free in your head this way? I know you weren’t thinking about her the night we spent together.”
“Definitely not.” He’s staring straight ahead, making it impossible to tell what he’s thinking. Until he tells me. “And I’ve spent a lot of time the last few days thinking about you. That’s the thing—I want to spend time with you. And I’m truly not talking about sex.”
“Then let’s spend time together. I’m ready, willing, and able.”
He smiles and finally meets my eyes. “Can you be patient while I figure some shit out? I don’t want to lead you on, but I definitely don’t want to walk away.”
There’s something genuine and earnest about the conversation we’re having. He’s shown me his vulnerable side a few times now, and maybe it’s just wistful thinking, but it’s compelling enough for me to give him a chance. All my rules go right out the window when it comes to Cash, and I’m equal parts annoyed and intrigued.
Luckily, the intrigue is winning out for the moment.
“I can be patient,” I say softly. “But I don’t know for how long.”
We get out of his SUV and walk along the sidewalk leading down to Main Street. There are vendors set up in tents in the street, which is why we had to park around the block, and there’s music playing in the distance. It’s warm but the humidity is low and there’s a light breeze, so it’s a beautiful day to be outside.
Even if I’m on the most confusing date of my life.
He’s one of the hottest guys I’ve ever met but he’s nervous about being out with me. There’s a part of me that wants to jump his bones and feel that same connection we felt initially, but I know that would put me at an emotional disadvantage. I’ve had a few one-night stands, but I never saw any of them a second time. I know myself well enough to sense I’d get attached if I did.
I guess this is new territory for both of us.
“What would you think about canceling our reservation?” Cash asks as we stare at the food trucks. “And just picking things from different trucks?”
I nod and he puts his phone to his ear.
“Maya!” I hear someone call my name and I whip my head around to see who it is.
Serena is waving, standing beneath a tent with West, Joey, Lacy, Chris, Jayne, and Bodi.
“Hey!” I wave and we walk over to them. “What’s everyone up to?”
“This is where the bookstore is going to be,” Jayne says, pointing to a door that has a big sign saying, ‘Grand Opening—October 1.’
“Oh, how exciting!” I say enthusiastically. “This is going to be such a great location!”
“I’m here passing out bookmarks, collecting email addresses for our newsletter, and just talking to people who walk by,” Jayne says. “Would you like a bookmark?”
“I would love one,” I say, taking the proffered bookmark and noting that it says, ‘the hottest girls read smut’ on the front. The back has the store’s information, like phone number, social media links, and the website. “In fact, give me a dozen or so and I’ll pass them out to the gang on the set.”
“Absolutely.” She hands me a stack and I take them.
“Hey, let me run those back to the SUV,” Cash says graciously since there’s no doubt that they’re too big to fit in my tiny purse.
“Thank you,” I say, watching him go.
“What are you and Cash up to?” Serena asks me.
“Just hanging out,” I say casually. “We were going to have dinner at the new place but then saw the street fair and thought that might be more fun. We’ll decide what to eat when he gets back.”
“There’s one with corn dogs, so I think that’s where we’re headed,” she says. “Joey likes them.”
I smile at the dark-haired little boy who’s holding on to West’s hand. From what I understand, he’s not his father but has stepped up to the role without hesitation. Hell, everything Serena has told me about West makes me a little wistful. I’m a romantic at heart, even though all the men I’ve dated so far have let me down, but I’m not going to give up hope.
