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And where would that leave him?

Where would that leave whatever this was with Mari?

He just wasn’t sure he was ready to make a decision about anything, but he knew he was coming close to the deadline to make a decision.

A decision that would make all the difference.

They came to a stop behind a car and Buck sat up in his seat.

He looked over at Hoss. “Sorry, did you say something?”

Hoss didn’t look over at him, but Buck could see the man’s almost imperceptible nod and just the lift of a smile at the corner of his mouth. “I was just enjoying the music. You looked like you were deep in thought.”

Buck nodded and as the car in front of them started to move, he turned to look at his friend and asked a question that had been on his mind for a while. A question, he’d been ignoring.

“If you couldn’t be in the Marines tomorrow. If you walked away. What would you do?”

There wasn’t an immediate answer.

Hoss turned on the signal and turned into the street on the Makai side of Pohakupu Mini Park. They slowed to a stop in view of the playground equipment with the green curtain of the Ko’olau Mountains behind it.

A couple of kids were climbing on the equipment looking like they were having the time of their lives.

Hoss probably didn’t know it, but he’d pulled up beside the very thing that had been on Buck’s mind since the night of the crash.

No, he didn’t have any family that he was close to, but he wanted one.

He wanted a family.

A family that he could love and be close to.

Something like Pallas was building with Kawehi.

A picture of Mari popped up in his head.

The scent of her skin filled his lungs.

And his heart… Fuck.

His heart wanted her.

Wanted a life with her.

A family.

But what would she think of a man like him?

A man thinking of walking away from the only career he’d ever known.

Then, realizing that Hoss had remained silent, he turned to look at his friend.

Hoss was looking at him with a quiet regard.

Waiting.

Hoss filled his lungs and let out the breath. “I guess I’d find a place that felt like home. Build a life there.” Hoss relaxed a little in the driver’s seat, putting his arm up on the door. “What about you?”

What could Buck say to that?