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The sign is too general. They. I have no idea who that could be, or what that means. But I can tell from both the feelings pouring off him and the stiffness in his body that he’s not going to tell me anything else. He’s watching me in his periphery, and even with my keen, Deaf eyes, I know he sees better than me, so I let him watch my hands fall to my chest.

The moment settles between us, and after what feels like a short forever, his body begins to relax. I don’t know if he’ll sleep. Maybe he’ll sit up and watch me. Maybe he’ll wait until I’m out before leaving me again.

The thought sends a hollow ache burning in the center of my chest, and it almost makes it hard to breathe. I really do miss home. I miss my brother and Cielo. I miss my cousins. My nonna. My dad. My mom.

That last one has my eyes burning because if anyone would know what to say right now, it would be her. I swallow back tears because I don’t want Eissa to see them, but it’s a Herculean task to get it done because all I want right now is to roll over and scream-sob into my pillow.

Fuck, maybe I should go back to my room.

I don’t get the chance, though. Eissa breaks before I do, and he rolls toward me, sliding his arm across my chest. He parts his legs and uses his clawed fingers to curl around my knee and slide my calf between his thighs before they close down around me. The weight of him is intense as I wrap my hands around his back.

He’s so fucking huge, and I’m very much not used to feeling so small. But in this moment, I love it. My hands explore lower, my fingers tracing where his tail meets his back, and I feel his chest rumble with a growl.

After a tense moment, his tail shifts, wrapping around me and bumping up my spine. The end rests against the nape of my neck, and I realize he’s cradling me. The urge to cry rises in my throat again, but before I can embarrass myself and let go, I feel another rumble, but it’s not a growl.

It’s something else. A rhythmic purring, almost like a cat. My fingers creep up, landing against the middle of his chest, and he stiffens for a second before his fingers curl around my wrist, and he guides them to his throat where I can feel that rumble.

Oh.

He is purring.

My eyes go wide as I glance up at him, but all I can see is the wide, blue expanse of his throat, and his gently pointed chin. He’s so…alien. So different. So inhuman. And I can’t help but want every inch of him.

The purring gets stronger, and his grip on me tightens, and I realize my mind is too open. Too vulnerable. But I don’t know how to stop it. I’m so lonely and so fucking sad, and the only person who can make it stop has rejected me at every turn.

I understand his hurt, but I’m not sure he realizes how his pain has been killing me, the death by a thousand tiny cuts. And I will only bleed harder when he inevitably leaves me here in this bed, by myself, just like always.

Eissa’s chest expands as he draws in a huge breath, and when he exhales, his arms and tail pull me even tighter against his chest.

I won’t leave. The words erupt in my head, somewhere between the meaning of them and the sound I can only hear with him. I will stay and keep you safe as you sleep.

Don’t lie to me again, I send back.

He doesn’t send words or pictures this time. No, the next thing I receive is a feeling—a vow. He means it. He won’t let me go.

I’m not sure I’m willing to believe him, but in this moment, I’m too tired to fight. So, I let my eyes close and finally edge toward sleep, wrapped tightly in his arms.

seventeen

EISSA

I am…drifting. There is a warm body on my chest, and a contentment I am unused to. It is entirely alien. Entirely unexpected.

And then my eyes open and I see unfamiliar ones staring at me. Except they are not unfamiliar. They are simply…older. Just like the soft curls, and the sharp jawline, and the overly white, blunt, straight human teeth exposed by a smile.

“Eissa.”

It is not Luca’s voice. It is a ghost. An echo. A memory.

“Why are you looking at me like that?”

Vyastil do not dream, so I know this isn’t real. It cannot be. But when his hand touches my cheek, there is warmth there.

“How are you here, Kori?” I don’t say my Kori, because he was never truly mine. I never felt the need to claim him the way I do Luca. But I did care for him in a way I never experienced before.

His eyes fix on mine. “What are we doing today? Do you have council meetings? If you take me, I promise to be good.”

Those words…how often he spoke them.