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The first night I attempted to rest, he was touching himself in his dream, his hand on his cock, his hips arching up as he stroked it. He was sitting at the table, legs spread, balls hanging heavy between his legs. And I stood like a stone across the room, unable to do anything except stare as he gave himself pleasure.

I could feel it as though it were my own, the rushing sensation as his cock jumped and his cum spilled from the tip.

Humans feel so much, and the way his pleasure cascaded up my spine and through my limbs was overwhelming. Have Vyastil ever felt like this? This all-consuming, overwhelming sensation? I did not have this with Kori, though I loved him very much.

But I did not feel him this way.

With Luca, he brings my body to life in a way I did not know was possible. I wake up gasping, pressure at my slit, my hips rocking against my bed, leaking a wet spot on my sheets. It is torturous and undeniable.

I ache for him.

It has been like this for several days, and tonight is no different.

Rolling onto my back, I stare up at the ceiling and reach for his beautiful body, but he’s still asleep. He moans in his dream, and I know he’s shifting restlessly in his sheets as he brings himself pleasure.

Without me.

Bitterness rises in my throat. I want that hand on his cock to be my mouth. I want the seed he spills to be for me to consume. He is mine—every part of him is mine.

Yours.

He does not know he’s sending that to me, so I embrace it. I absorb it, letting it throb in my chest alongside my beating hearts. Gods, this was a mistake, bringing him here. I will never regret saving his life, but I don’t know how I will survive it.

I don’t know how I will manage to get through these long weeks—maybe even months—without giving in to the temptation of his body, his cock, his cum.

Swinging my legs off the bed, the xinhar clings to me as I move. But I do not stay in its warm embrace. Instead, I shuffle out of my room and pause beside his. Pressing my ear to the door, I hear him moan again—some version of my name, I think. My claws dig into the door, leaving faint marks of want.

My tail lands on the large doorknob, ready to push in. I can smell him here, the scent of his cum. It makes my entire body tingle with need.

I need him.

But then Kori’s face flashes before me, and I rear back, the memory of him, distant and yet not faded entirely.

I cannot let what happened to him happen to Luca.

I cannot.

So, I pull back with a small hiss and make my way into the kitchen to refuel my body.

I must make a trip to Earth today. I have work to do, and I must speak with Davis, who should have news by now of Zane and the other unknown human in the car. I must also procure human supplies for Luca because there is still no telling how long he must remain here in order to be safe.

And there is work to be done that I can only accomplish while I’m not under the same roof as Luca. I trust him here in my private sanctuary to be safe. It will be better than bringing him to the capital where he would see the other companions. He is brave, but I don’t know if he’s ready for that.

I don’t know if I am ready for that.

My breath trembles as I exhale, and I do my best to tuck my anxiety deep inside me as I consume my meal for the day, then ensure that the kradun is fed. He’s rearranged all the furniture again, but I’ve come to find comfort in that routine.

“Watch over him,” I say, crouching beside him. I stroke claws along his shell and swiveling antennae. I found him as a hatchling—battered and half-dead—just after I was released from my punishment. It was he and a lone Vyastil that I raised—and as Dhoryn hates me, he wasn’t much comfort to me as my scars healed.

Sometimes I think the only reason I survived that pain of losing Kori was because of the kradun, especially after Dhoryn left. Keeping him alive meant keeping myself alive, and now I owe him everything.

So, I let him recklessly destroy my home.

Scratching under his chin for a moment, I push myself to my feet and head over to the counter. Taking a bit of paper, I scratch out a note for Luca to find—hoping he does before panicking—and then grab my tunic from the back of a chair and slip it over my bare arms and legs.

I will bathe in my capital apartment before slipping through the portal to Earth, and while time here will move slower and Luca will miss me far less than I will miss him, I know leaving him so soon after ripping him from everything he’s ever known is not the right move.

If only I had a choice.