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I hear nothing for a moment, and my desperation grows. I fling open the wardrobe and frantically start searching, but the herb is not there either. Nothing is there.

He has taken it.

Luca has taken it all and left.

I feel his absence now, just for a split second when the heat pauses for just a moment, but then it comes back, full force, making me double over.

Luca! I call out once more, sending the full intensity of my need for him through the bond.

I feel him then, a burst of anger making me fall back, my vision blurring.

What the fuck do you want⁠—?

I gasp as pain pulses through me, my body arching back, my bones feeling as if they may snap. I cry out, my rut coming with no way to stop it.

Sabik was right. It is worse than before. And with no one to breed, I will surely die. Maybe that’s what I deserve. After everything I did. After failing Kori and hurting Luca. Maybe the worlds would be better off without me.

I cry out again, my cocks pushing from my body, angry and full, needing to be pushed into someone, needing to knot. Luca is far too angry to help me, to come back for me.

I do not blame him. It is what I deserve. After everything I’ve put him through, I do not deserve peace.

I deserve this agony.

The pain overwhelms me, and the connection between Luca and me flickers in and out. I can feel his anger and then his fear. But I cannot maintain the connection. I just need to survive.

I stand up, ripping my clothes from my body. I cannot stand the feel of them scratching my oversensitive skin, and I inhale deeply, trying to work through the pain. This is not even the true rut yet. Just the beginning.

I do not think I will survive this.

It hurts.

Everything hurts.

My cocks are dripping, a flame licking up my skin as if I am on fire. I claw at the dresser, trying to center myself.

It does not work. It is suffocating. The walls are closing in on me. I trip to the front door, falling over another piece of furniture that has been moved just moments ago. My knees hit the ground, and I crawl outside, my head arching up as I let out another loud cry. It rattles the porch boards beneath me, and I thrust my hips forward, unable to find any friction.

I need friction. I need something tight and hot, something to put my seed into.

To rut over and over.

Oh Aelvorn, help me.

I pray to the ancient gods who formed this place, who created me with this curse. It is unbearable.

I glance out into the woods, and through blurring vision, see someone approach.

It is him. My Luca. I roar again, my spine arching up in pain, my hips thrusting forward once more as I grunt and groan. He moves faster, appearing before me and falling to his knees, his hands gripping my face.

I see his concern there, anger and fear.

‘What’s happening?’ he signs with one hand, his fingers trembling. ‘What is wrong? Are you in pain?’

I gasp and grunt, unable to form words. Everything hurts. Everything.

My rut.

They are the only words I can send through the bond before I cry out again, my cocks leaking, growing fuller and fuller. I need release. I need.