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“You fought a lot. You weren’t really all that good together.”

Now I’m the one fighting tears. Because admitting this means admitting that Ethan had a good reason to leave. And I can’t do that. What he did hurt too much. I could never admit that.

“But I thought that despite all of that, we agreed about our life together. I thought he had enough integrity that he would honor our marriage vows, no matter how bad things got between us.”

“But he didn’t. He changed his mind.”

“Yeah. But if I’m being honest… we hadn’t talked about it at all. We fought and then pretended everything was fine. Talking only led to more fighting, so we avoided it.”

We sit in silence for a while, my emotions so in shambles that I can’t pick at a thread to untangle.

“So, Blake?” Avery says, finally breaking the silence between us. “How did that happen?”

I relay a toned-down version of what happened, starting with Claudia’s theory about having sex with someone else.

“So, do you like him?”

I lean my head back and close my eyes. It sounds like such a simple question, and yet there’s a lump in my throat stopping me from answering it.

“It’s Blake, you know…”

“Yeah, it’s Blake…”

“So, what’s the point in even worrying about it. He doesn’t do serious relationships, right?”

“I guess… but it’s also Amelia.”

I give her a questioning look over the rim of my cooling hot chocolate.

“You know?” she asks.

“No. What do you mean?”

“You must know,” she insists.

I shrug and shake my head.

“Alright… how do I put this. Let’s just say that over the last twenty years, I’ve asked Blake multiple times if he was in love with you.”

The hot chocolate goes down the wrong pipe, and I cough while Avery slaps me on the back.

“What?” I ask when I’m finally able to speak again.

“He always denied it. He said I was imagining things. But I saw the way he looked at you. I always thought that the reason he couldn’t find a girl was because the girl he really wanted was already married to his best friend.”

I have a hard time processing what she’s saying. Blake never flirted with me when I was married. He never hinted at wanting more. If anything, he always kept a respectable distance. I mean, yes, he does have this intense way of staring at me sometimes. But that’s just the way he looks at people. He does that with everyone. Doesn’t he?

“I don’t know,” I say. “I mean, if he said it wasn’t true…”

I chug down the rest of the hot chocolate, needing a minute to gather my thoughts.

“I don’t want to get dumped again,” I admit. “I think it would be best if I tell Blake that we should just be friends. I just don’t feel strong enough right now for anything else.”

“That makes sense,” Avery says, but she looks disappointed. “I’m just glad you got back at Ethan. He deserved it.”

“Yeah.”

But I wouldn’t call the jumbled mix of emotion in my chest glad.