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“Yes, that is normal. But now instead of thinking about getting your dream house, you’re going to be compromising for Blake. And I’m worried that if you keep up the same pattern that you did with Ethan, your method of compromising will be caving in, giving him everything he wants and erasing yourself as much as you can.”
Her words hit a painful place in my heart. I had to give in with Ethan. He was my husband, and if I didn’t give him what he wanted, he would start a fight. But things are different with Blake. With him, I feel more like myself.
Does that mean that I wouldn’t compromise some of my desires to make Blake happy? No. Of course I would. That’s just the nature of relationships.
But Madison’s been single for twenty years. She divorced Luke after only two years of marriage. She doesn’t get it. She likes independence. I like relationships.
I want to have someone waiting for me when I get home. I want someone to take care of, who cares for me back. I want to talk out every idea for my future with someone I trust and to figure out together how to make them come true.
I want to give Blake a chance.
I could tell Madison that my dream for the future is to be married, but I know she’ll just twist it around as further proof that I’m rushing into another relationship instead of taking alone time, so I change the subject instead.
“So, what happened with you and Luke?”
“We had sex,” she says curtly.
“I know. But why? Do you still like him?”
“No. I mean… we’re friends. We have history. We’ve known each other for a long time, you know?”
“Not really. Either you like him or you don’t.”
“We’re just friends who sometimes have sex when we’re in a relationship slump.”
I look around us to make sure no one is listening. “You mean when you’re in a relationship slump. Luke doesn’t date. Has he even had sex with another woman?”
Madison laughs. “Of course!”
“He’s told you that he has?”
“No. We don’t talk about that. But it’s been twenty years. He must have.”
I shrug. “I’ve never seen him with another woman. And when I asked Blake if Luke ever has sex, he only mentioned you.”
Madison’s mouth opens, but she remains silent.
“I could be wrong,” I say, because the look of shocked guilt on her face is hard for me to swallow.
“I’m sure you are—”
“Mom!”
Chase grabs my arm, forcing me to turn and look at him.
“Look what I won.” He waves a small teddy bear in my face.
Blake stands behind him with his arms crossed and a proud grin on his face.
“Good job.”
“It’s for you,” Chase says, handing me the toy.
I’m so touched that I kiss him on the forehead, forgetting his aversion to kissing in public.
“Mom.”
The four of us leave the carnival and take a walk through town to browse all the booths and listen to some live music.
