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“Why would I ever want to call you? You’re a nightmare!”

The memory might as well have been formed yesterday for how clear it is. They were miserable every single day of their lives. They lived together, died together, and all I can hope for is that maybe they found some peace in whatever waits after this life. If anything does. And if it doesn’t, well, at least they’re not fighting anymore.

I can’t remember a single day they didn’t argue. Not one.

Which is exactly why marriage was always off the table for me.

Sadie suddenly shifts in my arms, so I raise the one that’s been draped over her shoulders as she sits up, blinking rapidly to clear the sleep from her gaze.

My mouth dries at the sight of her sleep-tousled hair. There’s a red spot on her cheek where it rested against my chest, and her eyes are still heavy. She takes a deep breath, then covers her mouth on a yawn before looking at me.

Our gazes meet.

They hold.

And I never want her to look away.

“Did you sleep at all?” she asks.

“I dozed off a few times.” It’s not entirely true, but not a lie, either. I did close my eyes, but I was definitely not sleeping. Not when he knows where she is.

“I’m so sorry that I kept you up.”

“At some point, you have to stop apologizing,” I tell her.

“At some point, you’re going to get tired of all the chaos I’ve brought into your life.”

Never. “Doubtful. You’ve livened things up.”

She smiles, a radiant grin that melts away any and all of my own exhaustion. There is nothing I wouldn’t do to see her smile, nothing I wouldn’t do to make her feel safe.

But why? How has this woman managed to come into my life and blow through every single safeguard I’d put in place to make sure I never turned out like my father? That I never got close enough to a woman to make her miserable?

“I guess livening things up is a way to describe it.” She stands and stretches, and I have to look away as a sliver of skin is revealed when she raises both arms.

Desire churns in my belly.

Temptation like I’ve never felt, to make this woman mine.

No.

“Coffee?” I get to my feet and shake my arm out to wake it up the rest of the way, although the pins and needles currently wreaking havoc through that side of my body definitely offer at least a little distraction.

“Let me make it.” She follows me out into the hall, then pauses in front of her apartment. “Will you wait for me?”

Forever, if that’s what it takes. “Yeah. Sure.” What is happening to me?

She smiles, then slips into her apartment. A few minutes later, she emerges, her hair having been brushed and her Bible and notebook in hand. “Okay, coffee.”

We walk together down the steps and into the bar that, once again, is still messy from the night before. I’d always been so particular about resetting the space before sleep. Everything had to be in place, but lately, my priorities have shifted. Because not once in the last few hours did I give any thought to the task list waiting for me downstairs.

“I’ll help you clean up this morning,” Sadie offers.

“Don’t worry about it.”

“The deal was that you would let me help. Now, I’m well enough to help.”

I grin, so happy to see her light back even after what happened last night. I think I half-expected her to bail the first chance she got. “Fair enough.”