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I have a few pieces I’m going to bring to a local art dealer to see if they’re interested. Emil told me he’s been doing some research on the area, and Elijah added that he wants to put out feelers for people to sell my art. They both feel it would be better if I sold to several different shops to widen my reach.

I suppose they’re right. I want to be self-sufficient, even though I know that my family will support me if I need the help. It’s certainly changing my perspective on what my future can be like.

I don’t have to go to college if I don’t want to. I can do whatever I want, and no one can stop me. It’s a crazy thing to realize when so much of my life has been managed for me by the foster system.

“I’m okay. Little Beam is getting big,” I admit. I don’t have a name picked out yet. We’ve all been calling the baby little nicknames because nothing sounds right. He’s my little light, which is why I call him my little beam. It feels right since my name also means radiance. “It feels as if I’ll be running out of space soon.”

“Not yet,” Rachelle teases me. I flip the screen back so she can see me and try to get comfortable. “When is your next baby appointment? We all want to come up to see you.”

“You also want to see the ultrasound of the baby,” I laugh.

“What can I say? I now understand why Emil is as insane as he is about the kids. After the initial shock, we’re all in. Are you sure we can’t kill the guys? Then we can forget they exist and you can come home.”

“It would be easier, but no, we can’t do that.”

I wish I was half as bloodthirsty as my family is.

“Fine. I’ll have to enjoy the souvenirs that Lili left them. What are you craving lately? We’ll do lunch when we all come up. My mom is going to come with us and take the kids to the zoo while we go to your appointment.”

Woah. I love how she is so nonchalant about Liliana’s “souvenirs.” Biting my lip, I ask myself if I want to know what they are, before deciding to let it go.

“My appointment is next week. I’ll send you the time and everything. I’m actually still craving tacos. There’s a restaurant I really like that I take myself to sometimes,” I tell her.

I can take myself out on dates alone! This may be silly, but I don’t care. I still can’t get over how much freedom I have. No one is forcing me to tell them where I’m going or with whom. Rachelle and my dads can find me on the street cameras if necessary, which gives me an added layer of protection.

Rachelle nods as she pushes her hair off her shoulder as she thinks. “Depending on how late your appointment is, we can go for food before or after. Do you want to see the kids? They’ll never come within a foot of your baby daddies, Noor. We are also doing a lot of work with them about what’s a family secret and what they can tell other people.”

“I disappeared on them,” I remind her, making a pained face as I shift in my chair before standing to pace. “I’ve done this twice! Mom, I don’t think it’s a good idea.”

Her eyes soften the way they always do when I call her mom. I haven’t forgotten the woman who gave birth to me and died to protect me, but I do think I’m allowed to love other people too. I’m eighteen, pregnant, and need my mommy.

Rachelle has more than shown she can handle that responsibility, and I’m legally adopted by her family. I’ll call her whatever I damn well please.

“You couldn’t help either instance. Santa Barbara was no longer safe for you. I’m proud of you for taking the necessary step to protect yourself. This house is a fortress, I didn’t think people would sneak in while we were decorating for your birthday. Since we were home, we didn’t have the alarm system on yet.”

Oh. I didn’t know they were planning something for my birthday. Fuck. Tears well up as my feet wear a path into the thick carpet underneath them, and my lips tremble as I try to make my brain work.

“Are you sure this won’t confuse them?” I ask. Ugh, it’s actually dangerously close to a hoarse wail, and Rachelle presses her lips together in sympathy. “I don’t want to fuck them up.”

“You can’t fuck up your sisters,” she laughs. I full-blown cry at the fact that I now have sisters I haven’t seen in months. Ugh. I suck so hard. “Honey⁠—”

The phone is stolen from her hand and she gasps before Theo fills the screen.

“Is this a hormone thing?” he asks, making Rachelle and I snort-laugh. I race to the bathroom because my snort released more than just a noise. Unfortunately, I am not a cute crier and need tissues for my nose and face.

“Maybe…”

“No.” Rachelle replies almost at the same time as me and I focus on blowing my nose once more. “We aren’t going to brush this under the rug as a hormone thing, Theo. She legitimately thinks she’s going to fuck up Adelina and Ariyah.”

“Noor, we are perfectly capable of fucking them up ourselves,” Theo says. I widen my eyes at him, unsure if I can laugh or not.

Is he for real?

Rachelle leans around his shoulder and shakes her head wildly, telling me he’s unfortunately very serious.

Well fuck a duck.

“I’m sure you are, but I don’t want to be the person who fucks them up forever,” I finally say, tossing the tissue in the garbage and continuing my pacing in the apartment.