Page 108 of Her Pucking Devils

“Good. He deserves it. I’m really not a good person.” My laugh is self deprecating as I shake my head. “It never occurred to me to say anything about that. I cut him off and moved on. Out of sight, out of mind.”

“Mom is getting him thrown into prison. Now he really is out of sight,” she says, winking.

“Cute,” I chuckle before sobering. “Ciaran’s abuse really fucked with his mental health. The only way I can describe what he did to you is a psychotic break. He didn’t tell Dray or I about it before pulling the trigger on it. We were pretty shell shocked, and then everyone thought you had killed yourself. I don’t know who started that rumor either. I don’t know how to go back, Noor.”

She closes her eyes, as if trying to work through it, and I pull her into a hug. Her hair is up in a messy bun, leaving her neck bare for me to bury my nose there.

I press a kiss there and groan like a man lost at sea.

“You smell like my version of heaven,” I rasp. “Ciaran has managed to replicate your scent to a tee. Creepy? I don’t care, but it’s still better right from your body.”

“Intense,” she whispers, her fingers curling in my shirt. I’m in a t-shirt and joggers, which is an unfortunate choice for my erection. I had planned to change, but there wasn’t time for it.

“I’m just going to have to be intense then,” I mutter. “I can genuinely say that I’m not dangerous to you or Zayn. Not ever. Not anymore.”

I straighten up and I’m startled to see that her eyes are glistening with tears.

“What did I do?” I ask, cupping her face.

“It’s the three of you,” she groans, pulling the sleeve of her dress up to show off a healing tattoo. It’s one I don’t remember, and it's done in watercolors. “I feel too much when I’m around any of you. I think about the possibility of moving forward but I have a child and I don’t know if you’re good for him. What if the four of us implode while we’re figuring this out? Then what happens?

“I don't want to want you. What the fuck do I do with that? You three scare me.”

I’m smart enough to know she’s not including Arran in this because they’re solid. We’re the keg powder she's worried about. I pick her up and skate over to a ledge to sit her down. I’m careful as I hold her and collect the tears before sucking them off.

“They still taste delicious,” I murmur. “Nothing worth having isn’t scary, Noor. I’ve been scared watching you skate on this fucking ice. What if you fall? What if you faint?”

Her lips open and close and I rub my nose against hers.

“It’s a whole different world now. I give too many shits now,” I growl. “Draven agonized about every second of your spa appointment. His stomach was in knots the entire time. You want to see intense? Baby, you ain’t seen nothing yet. We are never going to tell you what you can and can’t do. We draw the line at controlling you, unless it’s in the bedroom and that’s in a way we discuss beforehand. We deal in consent now. If you want to be our pretty little cum queen where we use you until you come and we fuck you awake, that’s a conversation.”

“That’s actually something I… Well, not that specific scenario, but…” Her cheeks are pretty and hot, and I chuckle as I press my forehead against hers.

“This isn’t going to be the way it was when we were in high school. I don’t even understand why we were like that. Senior Chase Night had so many consent rules, it was ridiculous. My house was a fucking paradise for parties to explore your sexuality,” I grumble. “Our relationship with you was so fucking twisted. Even when Ciaran is tied up and choking on Draven’s cock while I’m fucking him, he has a way to signal that he needs to stop. I have a little bell tied to his rope.”

Noor blinks slowly, and I wonder if I’ve broken her…again.

“Noor,” I whisper, kissing her lips. “Don’t let us break you.”