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“I don’t get the feeling that she’s a starving artist,” Draven says to me.

“It feels wrong not to contribute… Every time I start this sentence in my head, it sounds wrong,” I grumble. “Zayn doesn’t know his sperm donor, and that’s what I am. I want to help in some way, but does that make it seem as if I’m understating how well she’s doing at taking care of his needs?”

“As the son of a single mom? It depends on how you bring this up,” he admits.

Ciaran is working with one of the assistant coaches on something this afternoon, and we’re at home waiting for him so we can have dinner together. I need to work through this so it doesn’t drive me crazy.

“During our date, she said that they’re really active in San Diego’s activities for kids. It’s pretty obvious that they stay busy,” Draven says. “I’ll be honest, talking to Noor is a struggle for me. I was hyper aware of not wanting to say the wrong thing. The massage was a good way to get her to relax so she wasn’t as on guard. But, my anxiety had me on edge the entire time. My mom’s biggest insecurity was what would happen to me when she died. We don’t have any other family.”

The wheels begin to turn in my mind, and I decide I need to get with my lawyers.

“I don’t envy you,” I murmur. “I know this may be cliche, but I want to take her ice skating. I don’t know when she was last on the ice, and she has veto rights. You saw her a week ago, and apparently I’m her next date. Do you think they’re drawing straws or something?”

“Who fucking knows. There’s something I’ve been thinking about though.”

“Yeah?” I ask.

“Noor knows we aren’t normal when it comes to our sexual appetites, but I don’t know if she understands what that means,” he sighs. “I’m not going to be able to look at her creamy skin and not want to make her bleed. What happens if we’re lucky enough to get her to forgive us and she can’t handle that?”

“We get to that fucked up bridge when we get there,” I decide. “I can’t handle not being able to at least see her regularly. If she never lets us into a physical relationship with her, we’ll have to deal with that. We can’t force her to want us.”

“That’s what’s really fucked up. What if she does?”

Draven and I stare at each other for a long time before I get up and hit the weight room. Her wanting us wasn’t on my bingo card. I’ve been living for weeks with the idea that she despised us. I can’t even ask him why he thinks she’d want us to touch her because we haven’t discussed his date outside of the basics.

We decided that the intimate pieces of it would remain between them. Now I’m starting to wonder if that was a bad idea or not.

If there’s a chance… Fuck.

One week later

The weeks are slipping by, and we are firmly in November. My life is fractured between hockey and counting down until I can see Noor. It’s finally my time, and I jog toward her in front of the practice rink for the San Diego professional hockey team. I reached out to the coach and asked if I could borrow his rink for a few hours.

Was it ballsy? Yes, but that’s how I live my entire life. I reach for the stars, fight for the big goals, and completing my family is no different.

I ran into a snag getting a cab, and am pissed she’s waiting outside for me.

“I’m so sorry,” I sigh, my hands full as I wave to the guard on the other side of the glass. “The airport was insane.”

“You’re fine. I thought we were going ice skating,” she says, confused as I usher her inside.

“Bryce, right?” I ask the guard with a smile.

“Yes, sir. You’re going to go straight back and you’ll have the ice to yourself,” he says. “There’s no practice today.”

“Awesome. Thanks so much.”

“Not a problem. Let me know when you’re done.”

I nod gratefully and walk Noor forward before continuing to talk to her. “We are going ice skating. Here.”

“I don’t have ice skates. I haven’t skated since high school,” she sighs.

“I figured that. I have skates for you. I remember your size, and the blade is removable.”

“Okay,” she drawls, her eyes sweeping across the rink as we enter. “What kind of logistics did this take, Alastair?”

Hmm. It’s nice to be appreciated.