Page 73

For a moment, it feels like he’s here. “I will always love you,” I breathe, voice breaking despite myself. “But it’s time I let you go.” The tears come without permission, stinging hot against my cold skin.

I uncork the vial. “I promise,” I whisper, “to make them all pay. I will kill every one of them.” The words tremble, then steady themselves. “But I also promise to choose better. To become someone you would be proud of.”

I tip the vial. A scatter of ashes slips into the air, caught by the wind before drifting down into the sand and the grass. Time will pass and the last remnants of Maddoc will sink down into the bones of this island. Into the world that took him.

“I hope you’re at peace,” I say. “I will see you again. I love you.” My knees give way.

The sand is cold and soft beneath me, grounding me as I pour out the rest of the vial. Pale gray dust against my shaking hands. The last physical piece of the only man who ever saw me as I truly want to be seen.

The ashes settle, disappearing into the roots of the trees and mixes with blackened sand. Into the shoreline where the tide will one day reach and carry him farther than I ever could.

When he’s gone, my walls fall. The tears come hard and silent, my body folding over itself as grief tears through me. I let myself break in the place where he first began to change me.

Because he would have wanted me to. Because I deserve to.

Time dissolves. The night air turns sharper, the wind colder, drying the tears on my face and pulling me slowly back into my body. After a long while, I press my palm into the sand where the last of him fell, fingers spreading as if I can still reach him, still hold his hand.

“Goodbye, my love.” The words are barely audible. I stand and turn away without looking back. I don’t know if I will ever return to this place.

Chapter thirty

Emberbound

I’m swimming. Black water swallows everything—light, sound, thought. There is no surface, ocean floor, or horizon. Just endless dark pressing against my eyes, my mouth, my lungs.

The sirens are singing. Their voices don’t echo here; they move through the water with complete clarity, through my bones, into my skull. Their lullaby is a death sentence.

They know I’m here. How the fuck did I get in the water? I swim faster. I turn, trying to get up, but there is no up. I spin, trying to find down, but the dark is the same in every direction. My hair floats around my face like grasping hands.

Panic detonates in my chest. Then, something wraps around my arm. A hand, webbed, skeletal, and strong, the skin like wet parchment stretched over blades. Razor-sharp claws sink into my flesh. Excruciating pain explodes across my entire body.

I try to wrench free, but the water steals my strength, slowing every movement. It’s useless, I’m trapped. Another hand clamps around my other arm. They’ve caught me.

This is where I die.

I open my mouth to scream, and the ocean rushes in, thick and freezing, flooding my throat and lungs. My body convulses, but there is no air for me to scream. No sound.

The claws of the sirens drive deeper, pinning me between them. One of them moves closer. I can’t see her face, only the suggestion of it, pale and shifting in the dark. Her mouth reaches my ear, her voice right beside me. But she’s not singing anymore.

She’s speaking to me.

“Wake up.” The water trembles.

“Wake up, Neressa.” Her voice moves through my entire being, so close that it’s like it is coming from inside of me. The claws are still in my arms. “Someone’s here.”

My eyes rip open. I’m moving on instinct before I’m fully awake. Maddoc’s dagger in hand, I launch forward and straddle the figure beside me, driving the blade to his throat.

My breath comes in broken, violent pulls. The room spins, gradually coming into focus. My skin is drenched in cold sweat, sheets twisted around my legs like seaweed. I can still feel the water in my lungs, suffocating me. Still hear the sirens.

Everything is blurred. I press harder against the intruder’s neck. A bead of blood wells beneath the dagger’s edge, dark against his skin before it drops onto the rumpled sheets.

I watch it fall. Real. Not real? I can’t tell.

My heart is trying to tear its way out of my chest. My arms are shaking, but I can’t lower the blade. If I’m still in the dream, if this is another trick of the deep, if I let my guard down for even a second…

My vision finally focuses as I look down.

“Roman,” I gasp, the name breaking apart in my mouth. “What the fuck—” The words scrape out of me, raw and airless. I’m still on top of him, half naked, hair damp and clinging to my skin, the dagger biting just enough to remind us both how close he is to death. I’m still choking on any bits of air I can force down.