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I blink the sleep from my eyes, adjusting to the darkness of the bedroom. My body is heavy from deep sleep, but my mind is awake now. The hockey game of my literal nightmares makes itself known, and the familiar sense of failure followed by dread rolls in my stomach. I’d been so involved with the retreat, Quinn, and Beck during the last four days that I’ve not had time to think about it, but now…

I turn my head to where Beck was when I fell asleep, but he’s not there. I touch the sheets and find them cool. My pulse rockets for a new reason now, pushing hockey from my mind.

I shouldn’t have fallen asleep when I did, and obviously Quinn did, too. We left Beck alone with his thoughts, and if I were him, I’m not sure those thoughts would be good. It can’t be easy coming into this situation, and we did talk about big stuff before everything took place.

I gently remove Quinn’s arm from my middle. Unlike me, she’s usually a heavy sleeper, and after last night, I have no doubt she’ll sleep until the alarm goes off at eight.

Once I’m out of bed, I pull the comforter over her shoulders and gently kiss her forehead. Throwing on a pair of athletic shorts, I make my way to the living area, eyes searching for Beck in hopes he didn’t leave.

The bungalow is quiet and dark, and only a sliver of morning sun has made its way over the horizon, lighting the space with blueish-gray light. I go to the kitchen to grab a glass of water and look at the time on the microwave. It’s just after six in the morning, later than I first thought.

I take a glass from the cupboard and fill it, the cold water wetting my dry mouth but doing nothing to settle my stomach. I’m about to head back to the bedroom when a cough stops me. I whip around to the sliding door that leads out to the plunge pool, and relief floods my veins when I spot the slightly open door and Beck sitting in a chair.

He didn’t leave.

My feet automatically carry me toward him. I clear my throat as I push open the door to step through, alerting him to my presence.

“Couldn’t sleep?” I ask as I approach him.

“I did for a bit.”

Beck’s husky reply shoots a shiver up my spine despite the warm morning air, a warning that today is going to be hot.

I point to the chair next to him. “Mind if I join you?”

He gestures to the seat with a small lift to the corner of his lips. “It is your bungalow.”

“True, but if you’d rather be alone—”

“Sit, Noah.”

My heart skips a beat. “Always so demanding.”

I sit in the chair, and the discomfort is immediate—my ass is smarting from the spanking it took.

“Sore?” Beck asks, a smug lilt to his tone.

“I think that’s obvious.”

He chuckles. “And still a brat even after his lesson.”

“You love it.”

The playful energy between us falters. Beck sits back in his chair, looking out at the horizon that’s changing from its blueish gray to an expanding yellow gold.

I study his face while he lets me, taking in the man who has already forgiven me more than I deserve. Who took the best care of us last night and didn’t run like I think I would have if I were him.

“Are you okay?” I ask.

He doesn’t answer at first, his pause allowing more sunlight to creep over our faces.

“Just thinking,” he finally says.

“About?”

He locks his eyes with mine. “What life would have been like had I gone to Michigan instead of Denver and we’d both met Quinn together.”

Heat spreads through my chest, and with it comes a deep yearning for something that I never dreamed I could have nor was even a possibility.