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We sit in a triangle shape, birds chirping and bugs buzzing in the desert beyond. Beck sits ramrod straight in his chair, the blue of his shirt—similar to the color of Quinn’s eyes—highlighting his suntanned skin and the brown hair he has up in a half ponytail. The morning sun makes him appear almost ethereal.

Fuck, he’s beautiful, masculine yet soft in all the ways I like. My fingers itch to reach out and tuck a small hair that’s loose behind his ear. I want to feel him tremble under my touch like I did under his last night.

He clears his throat and shifts under my attention. “I think it’s best if you both say whatever it is you came to tell me. Rip the bandage off, so to speak.”

I sit up straighter to match his stiff posture, but Quinn speaks before I can. “What do you mean?”

“Yeah, Beck, what do you mean?” I parrot.

He crosses his arms over his chest, a protective move on his part. “I assume that the two of you want to stay for the rest of the retreat?”

“Yes,” Quinn says, looking at me for my answer. I dip my chin, and she smiles softly at me. “Yes,” she repeats. “We both do.”

“Emotions were heightened last night, and I understand what happened wasn’t planned,” Beck says.

“You can say that,” I answer, the tips of my ears burning. I’d like to say it’s from the sun, but it’s not. I can’t help the way my body reacts to thinking of the three of us together and how much I enjoyed it. All last night, I thought about it happening again, wondering if Quinn and Beck were thinking of it, too.

If Beck’s dark circles and irritable attitude are anything to go by, I’d bet money that he was. And by the way Quinn is acting eager to talk about what happened, I know she was as well.

I think at one point, she may have even dreamed about it, because I woke up to her plastered to my back, nipples hard against my bare skin. If we’d had time, I would have asked to fuck her nice and slow in the faint morning light, but I put that idea away for later—along with the image of Beck watching us, his rough voice a soundtrack to our lovemaking as he got himself off.

Beck sits forward, hands dropping to his thighs. “If the two of you want to move forward without acknowledging what happened or continue the retreat without me as your mentor—”

“No!” both Quinn and I shout with enough gusto I’m taken aback by it.

Quinn snaps her gaze to me, surprise written on her features. My heart races, not only from my reaction but also because I felt that strongly over his words. Amazing how things can change so quickly.

“No?” Quinn asks me.

I consider what to say carefully, scooting forward in my chair. “Yesterday, I wanted to leave. But we’re on the same page now, Sunshine.”

Quinn looks down at her hands to where she’s twisting the band of her wedding ring. My stomach sinks, and fear grips me.

“Or are we not?” I ask.

When Quinn finally looks up, her eyes are glassy. “Depends on what page that is,” she replies.

“I don’t understand.”

“It depends on if you both still have feelings for one another.”

“Quinn, I—”

“It’s okay,” she says firmly. “You two have a history I can’t comprehend. I’m not stupid enough to think I can erase that, nor do I want to.”

This isn’t where I expected the conversation to go. Who am I kidding—I didn’t think about it at all. My brain had been stuck on the moments the three of us shared together last night, moments that made me feel so much. All I know is that I want to feel them again; I didn’t allow myself to go into more detail. That felt too real, too dangerous.

“Quinn.” My voice breaks. “We’re not breaking up.”

“No!” She shakes her head, eyes alarmed. “That’s not what I’m saying.”

I suck in air, my lungs burning from the rush of oxygen. I hadn’t realized I’d stopped breathing.

“Unless that’s what you want,” she says too quietly, the same fear I just felt in her tone.

The bridge of my nose burns, and I shake my head. “You know that’s not what I want. I’d give up everything to keep you, Quinn. I’d quit hockey for you.”

She sits up straight, eyes wide. “You don’t mean that.”