Page 86

“She’s right,” Nyx interrupted me again. “You and I have no business together.”

My heart immediately stilled in my chest. Fear gripped me like a vine, and an emptiness I’d never experienced held me hostage as I replayed her words.

“What?” was all I could come up with in return.

“I…” tears welled in her eyes. “I’m just not good enough for you. And I’m damn sure never going to be good enough for her.”

“You’re more than enough for me, Nyx Love,” my words slipped out more desperately than I intended. “Do you have any idea how much you’ve impacted my life since we’ve met?”

“Jam—”

“Stop,” this time it was me who interrupted, gripping her shoulders. “For once in your life stop fucking self-sabotaging and just let things be. I know who you are. I know what you’ve been through. I see you, Nyx. And I’m the only one who should matter. Fuck the rest of the world.”

“You can’t say fuck the rest of the world when that includes your mom, Jamie,” she tried to pull away, but I held her in place. “I would never make you choose between us. You shouldn’t have to. I allowed my emotions to land me in a fuckin’ mess that’s now trickling over to the one good thing I thought I had going for me.”

“And your emotions are what’s pushing you to see things from only one point of view,” I argued.

Her tears made me want to send my fist through the wall. I loved many things about Nyx, but the one thing that drove me crazy was her ability to only see a glass as half-empty and talk herself out of what was meant for her.

And I had no doubt that with how I felt my world would crumble if she walked out of it, that I was meant for her. She was meant for me.

We were meant.

“Don’t do this,” tears clung to her lashes as she cried. “You’re making this so much harder than it needs to be.”

“Giving up on this is giving up on you. I’m never doing that.”

“You don’t have a choice,” she finally wormed her way out of my grip. “I’m not good for you. My life is a mess. I have no idea what it’ll look like from day to day. You deserve stability.”

Taking her hands, I pulled her to me, thumbing her wet cheek. “You deserve stability. You deserve happiness. You deserve someone strong enough to shield you from life’s bullshit. We joke a lot about my father’s rigidness trickling down to me but now I get it. It was preparing me for when I met you, Nyx. I was molded by him to be everything you need, and you were molded to be everything I need. You say I never show emotion right?” I cupped her face as we locked eyes. “Well I’m telling you now that I can’t go back to what life was prior to having you in it, Nyx. You’re everything to me. So don’t do this. I’m begging you.”

I was down bad, and I knew it, but I didn’t care. It wasn’t until she tried to distance herself from me that I realized going with the flow with Nyx wasn’t an option. I needed her. I didn’t give a fuck how soft it made me look to admit it.

“Jamie,” her reply was soft as I pressed my forehead to hers. “I—just…give me some time to sort through all this. Okay? Please?”

Her reply didn’t help unclench my stomach in the least bit, but I could take giving her space over her deciding to completely end things any day. So, I conceded.

Releasing her, I stepped back. “If that’s what you need.”

Sniffling, she nodded and stepped around me, heading for the door. And as much as it killed me, I didn’t stop her.

Chapter Twenty-Five

NYX

Two weeks had gone by since I’d gone to Jamie’s and tried to remove myself from his life. Two weeks since I forced myself to walk away from who was undoubtedly one of the best men I’d ever experienced. Two weeks of nauseating regret.

Two weeks of pure hell.

But still, I stood firm on my decision to take some time to myself to figure things out. I needed a clear head, with no outside influence about what to do now that the dynamic of our friendship, relationship, whatever it was we were doing had changed.

Knowing his mother was the one gunning to put me behind bars was a major game changer and no matter what Jamie said, I could never live with him being in the middle of whatever fall out would happen once my legal issues were all said and done.

Pushing my cart through the store, I tried my hardest to forget about Jamie and focus on grabbing everything I needed to make dinner for my brother. Between his competitions and my chaotic life, it felt like we hadn’t had any sibling time in forever and I was looking forward to it.

“Nyx?”

A voice I’d grown to hate, stopped me in my tracks. Heat flooded my veins, and I gulped deeply. There was no way.