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That statement had me wondering if I should call the police and have them on standby before we went inside. Having my father and Judah in the same room was nothing but an atomic bomb waiting to happen.

As I stood surveying him, I couldn’t believe I’d made emulating him a goal. Nothing about my dad was warm and inviting, and as I thought back to my childhood and teenage years, it’d never been. My father was the epitome of cold and hard. He was damn near an ice king. It was a wonder my mother stayed with him for as long as she did, and if I’d ever given Kinsley an ounce of that energy, it was all too easy to understand why she wouldn’t have wanted to tie herself to me for the rest of her life.

“I don’t know if it’s the best time,” I rubbed the back of my neck, hoping to nip things in the bud before they started. “We have a lot to do today and⁠—”

“I came to talk to you and your brother,” my dad repeated in a tone that let me know he wasn’t backing down.

Shrugging, I accepted defeat. He’d clearly come with a purpose and wasn’t leaving until it was fulfilled. He was nothing if not stubborn, a trait Jude and I inherited honestly. Gesturing for him to follow me, I led him inside, calling for my brother along the way.

“Aye, Jude!”

“It’s about damn time you got here,” he fussed from the back office. “I’ve been getting my ass kicked all morning and—” his words ceased as he stepped into the front showroom and saw that I wasn’t alone.

But when I turned my head to our father, he wasn’t, to my surprise, paying attention to either of us. Instead he was focused on the batch of guitars, gently trailing his fingers along one’s neck, eyeing it with a longing I’d never seen.

Jude shot me a look that very clearly asked, ‘what the hell is going on’, but I didn’t have an answer for him. I was just as lost as he was.

“Neither of you know this,” our dad began, speaking at such a low volume it was almost impossible to hear. “But before I met your mother, my friends and I started a band when we were teenagers. We all thought we were hot shit at the time, so most of the boys fought about who would play what role,” he chuckled deeply, a sound that was foreign to my ears. “It all seems so stupid when I look back on it, but everyone wanted to be in front. To be seen. Not me though.”

Judah and I shared another glance as our dad paused his story. That one look let me know we were both still as confused as we’d been before he started.

“See, playing the guitar was my first love. I remember your grandmama bought me one when I was around five years old. It was for kids, of course, but you couldn’t tell me I wasn’t the next Albert King. I was hooked. Playing guitar was all I wanted to do. I ever slept with the damn thing,” he laughed again, finally turning to face us.

“So I learned and practiced, then practiced some more until playing was as simple as breathing. And when we were old enough to start that group, I never cared about the politics of it. So long as I had the opportunity to sit or stand on stage or in front of an audience, I was in heaven.”

Hearing him talk about something so passionately was mind-blowing. I was looking at a completely different man from the one who raised us.

“And then,” our dad stuffed his hands into his pockets, dropping his gaze to the floor. “I met your mother. I laid eyes on her one night after a gig, and the rest was history. We were so young, only nineteen and fresh into adulthood. But I felt the same way about her that I had when I picked up the guitar for the first time. She was everything to me. We were everything to each other. And inseparable. So naturally, it wasn’t long before she got pregnant.”

“Come on, Pop,” Judah groaned.

“I know you aren’t acting shy with as many women as you tried to sneak in and out of my house.”

“That doesn’t mean I want to willingly hear about you and my mama,” Judah argued, making me laugh. No matter what, those two would find a way to go at the other. At least this time, it was with love.

“Shut up and let me finish my story,” our dad frowned before turning to me. “Now, like I was saying. Before long, you were on the way, and suddenly everything shifted. Your mother was determined and optimistic about her ability to raise a baby and still make it through college and law school. And you know your mama. Once her mind is made up about something, there’s no changing it. Something you two get from her. But me? I was terrified. Band money was good but inconsistent.

“I stayed up day and night worrying about how to ensure you and your mother would have everything you wanted or needed in life. She had set goals and dreams. And I was living in a fantasy world. There was no way I could risk the future of my family on such a flimsy foundation, so I gave it up and joined the military. Your mother wasn’t a fan of the idea, but I was determined to do what I had to do to ensure the well-being of my family.”

This was the first time I’d ever heard him discuss something so personal, and for once, I was at a loss of what to say or do.

“I know I may not have always done what you boys consider right. But I have always tried to do my best. I’m sorry if it didn’t come across that way. Maybe a small part of me resented you two for having the opportunity to live your lives in a way I couldn’t.”

“But that’s just the thing, Pop,” Judah said since I was still too stuck on figuring out what was occurring to speak. “You didn’t have to give up your dreams completely. All you had to do was shift reality. You could have poured your love for music into me and Jamie, creating a space for us to thrive instead of crushing our dreams. I don’t think you understand how damaging it is to have a parent put you down instead of building you up. You love to get on me about being a rebel, but I’m the way I am because I got tired of seeking your approval. I decided it didn’t matter who believed in me. I would live life chasing what I wanted because it was mine to live. And whether Jamie wants to admit it or not, he’s still doing whatever he can to try to gain your approval.”

“A’ight now,” I finally found my voice, shooting him a frown.

“I’m sorry, bro, but it’s true. You just don’t see it.”

“I don’t want either of you suppressing parts of yourselves because of me,” our father blurted. “I’ve lost my wife, a relationship with one of my sons, and am on the verge of losing the other,” he turned his eyes to me. “You may have thought I wasn’t listening to you the other day, Jamie, but I heard you. Neither of you knows how sorry I am for any hurt I’ve caused over the years, and if you let me, I want to do my best to make up for it. I don’t want this family any more broken than it already is.”

Folding my arms, I looked at my brother. “What do you think, Jude?”

He was silent for a short while before his face transformed into a grin. “I think you picked the perfect day to come to your senses, Pop. We needed another body in here to help us move things around.”

For the first time, genuine joy crossed my father’s face as he shrugged out of his coat. It was a surreal experience, and one I wouldn’t take for granted. Even if it didn’t last, Judah and I were on the receiving end of the quality time we’d longed for with our dad. And despite how much he’d irritated me the last time we were in the same room, I wouldn’t let that get in the way of enjoying it.

“A’ight then,” I shrugged. “Let’s get moving. Maybe we can get you caught up on everything in our lives while you’re here.”