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“I know that the pub isn’t what you think is an ideal workplace,” I finally interrupted, working to keep my voice free of animosity. “But they came through for me when I needed a job quickly, and it’s a way for me to keep myself afloat. It’s not the end all be all.”
“Amen,” Raelynn chimed in.
“But it is a means to an end,” I continued. “A flexible place that allows me a chance to build until I’m back up on my feet. However much you disapprove of it, you can’t deny that it’s been a lifeline for me during a rough time.”
“I’m not putting you down, baby,” she attempted a gentler approach.
I nearly laughed. She could have fooled me.
“I hear you, Ma. But the pub aside, I wanted to come to dinner tonight to tell y’all that I think I finally have my spark back. There’s a spoken word event coming up soon and I signed up for it.”
“Word?” Lincoln happily took advantage of the subject change. “What made you decide that?”
“Less of a what and more of a who,” Raelynn coughed, earning herself an elbow to the ribs.
“Let’s just say,” I said loudly, hoping no one overheard her. “Despite all the craziness that’s gone on lately, life has given me small reminders not to neglect what I love to do. So, I’m getting back to it.”
“That’s what’s up,” my brother nodded proudly. “Let me know when and I’ll be there.”
“We want to come too,” my mother pouted.
It’d be a cold day in hell before I allowed it, but I couldn’t say my family’s excitement didn’t help stoke the dying embers of creativity in me. Maybe I had been wallowing in drama and self-pity for too long. No, things wouldn’t change overnight, but I at least had to try. And trying looked like getting back on stage and showing the world what Nyx Love was capable of, instead of allowing a man, who wasn’t worth a damn, to keep me under his thumb.
“What do you think I am? Some kind of booty call?” Jamie answered, making me laugh as I climbed into bed.
“I don’t know, you tell me.”
“You’re the one calling me at freaky hours, sweetheart.”
“Boy, it’s barely eleven at night. Quit being so dramatic.”
“Eleven p.m. is spooky hours around here.”
“Yeah, okay. Well, when you have somebody to have spooky hours with, then we’ll talk.”
“Who said I didn’t?”
A pang of jealousy shot through me like a bullet, leaving nearly as quickly as it came. Brushing the feeling off, I rolled my eyes, turning over onto my back.
“Anyway, back to the reason why I called. You would have been very proud of me tonight.”
“Why, what happened?”
“I went to my parents’ for dinner, and my mom started her usual shenanigans, talking shit about my job, amongst other things. I got annoyed and let her know I felt she was trying to put me down, and of course, she swore that wasn’t what she was trying to do.”
“Funny how parents never recognize the damage their words cause,” he snorted.
“Butttttttt,” I dragged the word out while yawning. “Instead of flipping out the way I wanted to, I expressed myself, controlled my temper, and changed the subject.”
“And how do you feel?”
“Like I should have cussed her out for playing with me.”
Jamie’s deep laugh made my stomach flutter. I mean, it seemed as if there was a flurry of live butterflies doing a tango inside of me. What the fuck was really going on?
“Everything doesn’t always need a reaction, Nyx.”
“I know, I know. I’m just joking. As much as I hate to admit it, not allowing her to get under my skin feels pretty empowering.”