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“There’s too much here for us to figure out tonight anyway.” Nash rubs his eyes before looking back at the screen. “I’m sending Zee a copy. He’s already been digging into Maria, so he’ll know what he’s looking at.”
“Send one to Ronan too. Let him handle the financial records and anything connected to Murphy Enterprises.”
Nash nods and starts copying the drive. I keep looking through the open folders while he works, but nothing gives us the answer we need. What we do have is proof that Alina didn’t stumble into my life through Whitmore. She was looking for me long before we met, and whatever she believed she would find started with Maria.
“There’s something else we need to deal with.” Nash closes the laptop enough to get my attention and turns toward me. “If Alina has been planning this for years, you can’t meet with her alone if she comes to you.”
“If she comes to me, that may be exactly what we need to draw her out.”
His expression tightens. “I didn’t say you couldn’t meet with her. I said you’re not doing it alone. Put Ronan in the next room, have Taylor follow you, wire the damn building. I don’t care. Just don’t walk in there by yourself when we have no idea what she’s willing to do.”
I understand the distinction he’s making, but I also know there are circumstances where I may not be able to give him what he wants. “I’ll take every precaution I can, A Sholas, but I won’t promise you I’ll never have to face her alone.”
Nash looks down at our hands and runs his thumb across my knuckles before meeting my eyes again. “I need you to understand why I’m asking.” He shifts toward me until his knee presses against my thigh. “We haven’t really talked about what the Daddy thing means to me. Not the sex part. I think we’ve got that part pretty fucking clear.” His mouth lifts briefly before his expression turns serious again. “I mean why I want it outside the bedroom.”
He pushes himself to his feet and starts pacing in front of the couch. “I’ve always liked being a sub. I like giving up control when I trust the person I’m giving it to, and yeah, subspace is one of my favorite fucking places to be. But calling someone Daddy has never just been about what happens in bed. I want someone I trust enough to pull me back when I’m getting too far inside my own head. Someone who can tell me to stop when I’m pissed off or scared or about to do something stupid, and I’ll actually listen because I trust him to make that call.”
I think about the hotel and understand exactly why he’s telling me this now.
Nash drags a hand through his hair. “After Joey died, I didn’t have that. I was so fucking angry that I didn’t care what happened to me as long as I could do something with it. I’m not in that place anymore, but I’m still me. I push. I get pissed off. Sometimes I decide something needs to be done and don’t think much past doing it.” His gaze comes back to mine. “Having someone I trust enough to give him control when I need it makes me feel safe. That’s what Daddy means to me.”
He comes back to the couch but doesn’t sit beside me. Instead, he lowers himself onto the coffee table between my knees and takes my hands, his thumbs moving slowly over my knuckles.
“But I don’t want this to be all about what you give me. I want to take care of you too. I want you to be proud that I’m yours. I want to make you happy, make you feel good, give you somewhere you don’t have to be the CEO or the guy everybody expects to have all the answers.” His fingers tighten around mine. “And when somebody is trying to hurt you, I’m going to want to protect you. I can’t turn that off just because you’re bigger than me, richer than God and have enough security to invade a small country.”
A laugh almost gets out of me, but the look on his face keeps it there. He isn’t making light of what he’s saying.
He releases one of my hands and cups my face. “I want all of that with you, Duncan. The sex, the rules, you pulling me back when I need it, me taking care of you when you’ll let me. I want the whole fucking thing.” His thumb moves along my cheek. “That’s why I’m asking you not to go after Alina alone. I finally found someone I want this with, and I’d really like the chance to actually have it.”
Nash leans in and kisses me, his hand still cupping my face. “I can’t let you get hurt before we even have a chance.”
I close my hand around the back of his neck and keep him close when the kiss ends. He’s trusting me with something he doesn’t hand over easily, and that trust has to work both ways.
“You’re mine, A Sholas, and I understand what you need from me.” My thumb moves along the side of his neck. “I’ll listen when you tell me you’re worried, and I won’t deliberately shut you out of something that affects both of us. But I expect the same from you. If you want me to respect the fact that you need to protect me, then you have to respect that I need to protect you too.”
His mouth curves. “So what you’re saying is we take the risks together.”
“That is not what I said.”
“It’s close enough.”
I stare at him until his smile breaks into a full grin. There’s my brat. I reach for him, pulling him from the coffee table and back into my lap. He comes willingly, wrapping his arms around my neck before pressing a kiss to the tip of my nose.
“Look at us being a couple and shit.”
I laugh as I tighten my arms around him. “You are going to drive me insane.”
“Probably, but at least you won’t be bored.”
His phone rings before I can answer. Nash pulls it from his pocket and glances at the screen. “It’s Zee.” He looks at me before answering. “I’m putting you on speaker. Duncan’s here.”
“Good. Saves me from having to explain it twice.” Zee doesn’t bother with a greeting. “I got farther into the hospital records. The reports confirm the poisoning was deliberate. Someone definitely tried to kill Duncan and Declan.”
Nash looks at me while I keep one arm around his waist. “Duncan already told me what happened, so you can stop digging into the hospital records. I told you those weren’t what I wanted.”
“Fair enough. I’m done with them.”
Nash reaches for the laptop on the coffee table. “I have something else for you anyway. I copied Alina’s burner phone while I was in her hotel room. I’m sending it now.”