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Right as he’s about to say her name, Nina walks in, and we all stop talking.
We’re not hiding it from her. It’s her call as much as ours. She just walked in before we’d figured out how to bring it up.
“Okay, everyone went silent when I walked in, which means you’re talking about me.” Nina laughs and tosses Pascal a grin.
He doesn’t look away like he used to. He smiles and holds her eyes.
“Actually, we were. Don’t let it go to your head,” I tease. “We have something to ask you.”
“Oh? I’m all ears.” She grins and reaches for the coffee Zander already has waiting for her.
The three of us glance at each other, deciding who’s going to say it.
Once again, Pascal takes the lead. “We were talking about maybe continuing our arrangement past the holidays.”
Nina’s eyes light up instantly.
Good sign. I wasn’t sure she’d go for it.
“It’s been good,” Zander adds. “There’s no reason to end it.”
“But everyone’s leaving this house in January,” Nina says. “None of us can stay in the mountains forever. We all have real lives to get back to.”
“Yeah, but you forget who we are.” I wave my hand dismissively. “We have access to private jets. Money and travel aren’t a problem for us. You live in Denver, so we could come see you there, or meet back up here.”
“Or fly you to New York whenever you want to see us,” Zander says.
Nina turns it over in her head. I can tell she likes the idea. But there’s still something holding her back.
“Okay. I’m going to be honest,” she says. “This hasn’t felt casual to me in a while. I didn’t say anything because I didn’t want to freak you out or break our agreement. But I have real feelings for each of you. Different feelings, but all real. It’s more than fun, and it’s definitely more than sex.”
She looks at each of us in turn.
“Zander, you make me feel safe. Like I’m being taken care of, for once. Jarek, you make me laugh, and you remind me that being with someone is supposed to be fun, not one-sided. And Pascal.” She pauses. Last night is written all over her face. “You see me. The real me. I know we said this would be temporary and casual. And it’s been amazing. But my heart stopped treating it like something casual a while ago.”
“So that’s a yes?” I ask, way too soon.
She sighs. “As much as I want to say yes, I’m not sure it’s a good idea. This seems impossible. I can’t really expect three men to be faithful to me long-term. What’s the new end date? And what happens when we get there and don’t want it to end then either?”
“Does it have to have an end date at all?” Pascal asks.
Nobody says anything. It’s not a crazy question. It’s just that we’ve all been thinking it, and none of us were ready to say it out loud. I’d bet all three of us have lain awake at night wondering if we could ever actually let her go. She’s become part of our lives so fast.
Nina doesn’t answer him. Instead, she keeps listing reasons it won’t work.
“The longer we keep this secret, the more likely it gets out. And we all know what we have to lose if it does. Besides, it’s been easy here. We’re all under one roof, on vacation, away from our real responsibilities. What happens when that’s not true anymore? Things will be different.”
“Yes.” Zander reaches across the table and covers her hand with his. And it hits me: I don’t even want to think about not touching her after this month.
“But different doesn’t mean worse,” he says. “It might mean better.”
She smirks. “Better than Christmas in the mountains?”
“Okay, now you’re setting the bar way too high,” I say. “Even a billionaire can’t compete with Santa.”
Nina giggles. None of us want this to end, not even her. And every reason she comes up with is losing to how badly we all want it to work.
“I guess we could try,” she says. “It might be fun to see New York. And this house isn’t going anywhere, so we’d always have it. There’s just one more thing that makes me think we should still end it on New Year’s Day.”