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“I don’t deserve one, but that doesn’t keep me from wanting one.”
There’s enough heat in his voice to make the meaning clear. “Does that make me a bad person?”
“No, but I’d be lying if I said what happened doesn’t still affect me.”
“How long do you think it would take for you to move past this? How long is long enough? Three years is a long time, Beth.”
I hold his gaze. “Yeah, I know it is. I’m trying to get my head around the new you.”
“I’m a patient man, Beth. You’re worth waiting for.”
“We’re both supposed to be working,” I remind him.
“I’m working,” he assures me confidently.
I point out, “You haven’t touched your keyboard in five minutes.”
“Being close to you makes it hard to concentrate. Can’t do this job with you sitting there looking the way you do.”
Shock rolls through me at how bold he’s being. “I’m wearing jeans and a T-shirt.”
“I’ve taken both off you before. My mind remembers what that was like. I remember everything to do with you.”
A surprised laugh comes out before I can stop it. And Striker’s mouth curves into that slow, sexy smile. The one that drew me to him three years ago.
“You’re still a flirt, I see.”
“I just want you to know how I feel, that’s all.”
I swallow thickly, realizing that I’m slowly letting him back into my heart an inch at a time. I even enjoy flirting with him, and some small part of me is thrilled that the father of my child still wants me. I get lost in my thoughts, thinking about how delicious it would be to be back in his bed.
His voice calls my name, seeming far away. “Beth.”
My eyes shoot up to his. “Wha… what?”
“You’re rubbing your lip again,” he says warmly and knowingly.
I can feel myself blushing. To cover, I jump to my feet and hurry off to check on Josie.
***
By evening, Josie is rubbing her eyes and getting drowsy as she fights sleep. Before I can scoop her up to get her ready for bed, Striker crosses the room and holds his arms out. “C’mere, little bit,” he says. “I’ll carry you.” She eagerly goes to him.
He carries her up, and I get her into her pajamas while he walks around her room straightening all her little toys with his ginormous hands. He sits on the edge of the bed and pulls up the covers while I throw her dirty clothes into the hamper.
We put her to bed together and take turns reading her stories as she cuddles her big stuffed rabbit. He even does different voices for her. If I’m being honest, Striker is all in when it comes to putting Josie first. That earns him another step back into my heart.
This is the exact thing I decided we could never have together when I found out I was pregnant three years ago. I didn’t think he had it in him to be patient and kind when our kid was a handful. Now, I know better. Not only can he do it, but he’s also actually pretty good at it. He’s nice, gentle, and sweet with her. She genuinely likes him and drifts off to sleep before he finishes the story. We turn off the light and step out into the hall together. Both of us feel the pull of this family we could have together if we’re willing to just reach for it.
“Josie’s a good kid,” he says roughly. “You did a great job with her.”
Guilt swamps me because now is the moment I’ve been looking for to tell him, but the words get stuck in my throat. Instead, I chicken out and say, “Thank you. She’s my whole world.”
“Good night, Beth. Sleep tight.”
“You too, Striker.”
I crawl into bed with way too much on my mind, and, of course, I can’t sleep a wink. I lie there in the dark and think about how I should have just told him. Dammit, I wanted to.
