Page 132 of Her Wicker Guardian

“I didn’t know her name yet. I didn’t know mine. I didn’t understand the fire or the house or why everyone around me was frightened. But I knew her.”

“How?”

I look toward Rachel. She’s watching me, but she doesn’t answer for me.

A week ago, I might have waited for her to.

“I thought she was familiar.” I consider the word and shake my head. “No. Safe.”

“Why did she feel safe?”

“I don’t know. At first, I wanted her close all the time. When she left, I waited for her to come back because almost everything else was new.” I look down at my hands. “That changed.”

“How?”

“Yesterday she left me in a hardware store.”

Rachel makes a sound from across the room. “That makes me sound terrible.”

I turn toward her. “You said you weren’t being interviewed.”

“I’m not. I’m defending myself.”

Mara smiles, but I am still looking at Rachel.

“You left me with Ben.”

“For approximately five minutes.”

“More than five.”

“It wasn’t.”

Victor coughs behind the camera.

Rachel gestures toward me. “Continue your interview.”

I look back at Mara. “I was talking to Ben about tools. Rachel left, and I was fine.”

“Did you expect not to be?”

“A week ago, yes.”

The answer takes the humor out of the room.

Mara asks, “Do you still need Rachel?”

“That isn’t the right question.”

“All right. What would be the right question?”

I think about it before answering. “What does Rachel mean to me now?”

Mara nods. “What does Rachel mean to you now?”

I do not answer yet. There are things I have not decided how to say, and I am not ready to let a camera decide for me.

“Ask me something else first.”