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“So I’ve been home alone a lot, on account of the break-up, which, I just don’t want us to lose sight of the fact that I was just dumped. Some sympathy during these difficult and unusual times is appreciated.”
“Okay, grace extended,” Tracy said.
“Thank you,” Maye continued. “So I’ve caught the last couple…” She looked up and made eye contact with Tracy. “Okay, I’ve caught the last few movies by happenstance and…”
“Here it comes,” Tracy said, adjusting in her seat for a more comfortable position.
“Tracy, this is already hard enough, you don’t need to get all snooty on me.”
“This is probably the one and only time I will get to experience this, Maye, so dadgummit, let me enjoy it!”
Maye took a deep breath. “Well, I’ve come to ever so slightly enjoy the routine.”
“Woo!” Tracy shot up from her seat. “I did it! I broke you like a wild stallion! I am the ultimate Christmas Cousin! Oh, by the way…” Tracy sat down again and regained her composure. “I meant to tell you.” She put up a finger so she could catch her breath. “That celebration really took it out of me. Anyway, I meant to tell you. Remember my idea for a Christmas Cousins podcast?”
“Vaguely,” Maye said. “I think I told you I wouldn’t do that.”
“Well, you’re in luck because that podcast already exists.”
“Aw, shucks,” Maye said flatly.
“Yeah. I know,” Tracy was unfazed. “Some guys already do one. Can you believe that? It’s always guys, isn’t it?”
“Are they at least cousins?” Maye asked.
“Yeah, they are. I listened. It’s chaotic and full of sound effects.”
“Ugh,” Maye’s reaction was visceral.
“Yeah, I love it. I’m a listener for life.”
“Oh! Speaking of chaotic,” Maye said. “As I was trying to say at the restaurant, I saw Todd a few days ago.”
“Oh? How’d he look? I mean, how is he?” Tracy tried to correct herself, but it was too late.
Maye descended into a cannonade of “oooh”s and “aaah”s and kissy sounds to mock Tracy, mostly as payback for all the ‘I told you so’ business earlier.
“Anyway,” Maye said. “I went to Town Hall and you are now looking at the official Volunteer Coordinator for the Greenville Fall Festival!”
“Ahhh!” Tracy squealed. “Really??”
“Yup! I went to Town Hall to volunteer and, after Todd got done with some really in-depth air conditioner talk—”
“What kind of air conditioner talk?” Tracy bit the side of her lip. “Like, the whole HVAC system or just AC? Todd’s so burly, isn’t he?”
“I guess…?” Maye said. “So after some AC talk, we talked about the Fall Fest and how I could help and it turned out they don’t even have someone coordinating the thing! So, I’ll do that.”
“So you’ll give me whatever assignment I want, right?”
“Obviously. Okay, shush, it’s starting,” Maye said as she turned up the TV volume.
“This week,” the TV announcer said, “Christoffer Robert R. Walker stars as a sea plane pilot who has to emergency land in a tropical cove. He’s forced to finally slow down from his high-flying life and live in the moment. That is, until the plane’s black box data is retrieved and it’s discovered that the crash was likely caused by pilot error. Uh-Oh! Suddenly, the pilot’s pressure reaches new heights. Will he face legal action from the sea plane company for negligence because he destroyed their plane? Or will they accept the pilot’s counteroffer to teach flight safety courses to island youth instead? Find out next on A Long Walk Down a Short Pier at Depression Cove.
Oh, and one more thing,” Maye said without taking her eyes off the TV. “Chris invited us to visit a movie set he’s working on. We’re going to Canada at the end of this month.”
“WWWWHAAAAAAT!” Tracy screamed.
Maye covered her ears with two pillows as Tracy leapt off the couch and tore around the living room. Tracy’s shouting was muffled under the pillows Maye held to her ears.
