Page 58 of Those That Defy the Realm

“Maybe not, but I refuse to believe it won’t happen.” Ash pouts. “And even if it doesn’t happen in this first agreement, I won’t stop fighting.”

“It could take years. Decades,” I say pragmatically.

“I don’t care. I would fight for decades. It would be worth it.” The way he glares at us both makes it clear that he’s not talking about the freedom the Act would bring his pack. He’s talking about us.

None of us have uttered those three impactful words yet but from the determined devotion in Ash’s eyes I can see that he’s there. I have been fooling myself into thinking I’m only just falling in love with them when in reality, I’m already there, already so familiar with the emotion currently being displayed in his crystal blue irises.

I am in love with both the female lounging in my lap and the wolf stubbornly refusing to acknowledge the most likely outcome of our future.

This conversation suddenly gets a lot more painful with that realisation. With one look Ash has unlocked something that I have been keeping at arm’s length. He’s feeding me hope in a situation that feels like a pipedream.

Yes, I’d be back in Froan in a year, less than an actual year as the academic terms aren’t a full turn of the sun. And I’d be visiting on long weekends where I could get away with it and during all the holidays, I’ll need to with the bond I have to Ty and Rory. The pack bond will make it hard for me to be away for too long without setting foot on the pack soil.

It’s a joyous thought to think that Claire and I could make that work. And I’m sure she could visit me in the capital. The ferry there is only overnight, so it isn't too much time to be able to cut out of her job.

But Ash will be so much further away, it’s over a day’s journey to reach his remote island. Could I imagine a future where Claire and I are together without our wolf as well? I’m not sure I want to. Our puzzle wouldn’t be complete.

Claire has withdrawn once more, I can feel her tucked into my chest but mentally she’s sunk back inside herself.

Ash notices too and scoots forward and clasps her hand with his. “Would you want that, darling? For us to stay together even though we might have to be long distance for a while?”

“You talk of decades Ash, like they’re months. I guess for you that is how they might feel. I’m not sure I could wait that long.”

My heart aches in my chest and I instinctively hold Claire tighter in my arms. Breathing in her scent, I’ve never been more acutely aware of her human nature.

She’s right. If it took decades for me and Ash to be together, it would suck for sure. It would be challenging to wait, but ultimately, we’d still have the rest of our lives to enjoy. Claire doesn’t have that. Decades for her will put her over middle age. It’s not fair for us to ask her to wait that long.

Her words hang heavy, shrouding us in the realisation that this relationship has been doomed from the start. I know I’d feared it, had tried to stop it from happening and yet here we are, about to break our hearts.

“Fuck it, I’m not going back.” Ash looks up from where he’d been staring intently at their joint hands.

“What?” Claire whispers.

“I’m not going back to the Northern Isles.”

“But Ash—” I start to argue but he cuts me off.

“No. I refuse. Claire’s right. If we want this—us—we need to make it happen now. I’m only here now because one department of the authorities has said I can be. To the rest, and to the central government, I’m very much here illegally. So what’s the difference?”

My brain whirs as I start to think through all the implications of what he’s saying. Nothing in his logic is a lie. But technicality, the fact that we do have Morris’s department working with us is not a relationship we should be testing.

That being said, what is a wolf shifter amongst an entire pack of illegal vampires? Until the degrees get signed into Acts, we’re all risking the death penalty if we are discovered.

The only catch is his pack. “What about your family? Your actions have consequences for them if you’re caught.”

“I think they’ll understand. I’ll have to get permission from my parents of course, they’re my alphas. I’ll talk to Agent Morris first as well. She gave me this pass, and the talks have been going well, maybe she can extend it.”

Ash had pushed his luck in getting a second visa so quickly, I had no idea if the detectives would allow another extension. Although, if he were to return to the Northern Isles for a short while in between each one maybe that could work.

“It doesn’t change the fact that I’m human,” Claire says in a tone with a level of detachment that I don’t like.

“You think that matters to me?” I ask. “To us?” I amend as Ash shoots daggers at me.

She pulls from our grip, and I reluctantly let her go. Standing, she takes a few steps away, the sun illuminating the slight tan she’s got over the summer, and highlighting the freckles that have bloomed over her shoulders.

“Won’t it?” Claire turns to face us and for the first time she’s vulnerable. There’s no wall, no shield over her posture or expression. I get a glimpse of her completely bared to us and all I’m hit with is the fact I don’t want to let her go. “I’ll age far quicker than either of you.”

“No. It doesn’t matter.” Ash says. “If anything I’m grateful we met you now. Technically, you’re quite a bit younger than us.”