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His thumb brushed under my eye, catching a tear I hadn’t realized had fallen.
His voice lowered, something colder settling into it, something that didn’t leave room for doubt. “I used it against people who deserved it.”
My stomach dropped.
A sharp, dizzying wave rolled through me, my pulse stuttering as the words sank in, not just what he was saying, but how easily he said it. How right it sounded to him.
How right it felt in the space between us.
Sterling glanced over his shoulder at Harvey, who was still curled on the floor, whimpering, before bringing his eyes back to mine. “I don’t just kill them, Sienna,” he said, his voice slowing like he was savoring each word. “I torture them. Remember how you said you liked the feel of his blood on your skin? That you liked making him pay? I do, too.”
Somewhere inside of me…a spark ignited. Like a tendril of relief or maybe recognition.
I might have been a monster, but he was one as well.
The thought hit me stronger than the drug currently drifting through my veins. All those nights I’d spent alone, replaying what I’d done to David, convincing myself I was broken beyond repair…the self-loathing I’d had when I met Sterling because I’d thought he’d pledged himself to a monster. And here he was, confessing the same darkness like it was the most natural thing in the world.
Like it was love.
My skin felt too tight. I obviously couldn’t form the words to tell Sterling how much this changed everything, how much it made me feel seen…but the spark still flared brighter, licking up my spine.
He crouched again and stared at me pleadingly. “I can’t just let what he’s done to you go,” he murmured. “I can’t let him walk away from this. Not after he tried to take you from me. He tried to hurt you, so I have to make him pay.”
I stared back at him, tears still sliding down my cheeks, but they weren’t from fear anymore. They were from something else. Something grateful and twisted.
I swallowed hard, my throat working around the drugs still fogging my tongue. It took everything I had to force another word out—small, slurred, but clear enough.
“O…kay.”
“Do you want to watch, baby?” he asked.
The answer settled deeper than the drugs. Yes. I wanted to watch Harvey pay…even if it was wrong.
“Ye-es,” I spit out.
His eyes softened for a fraction of a second, relief flashing across his face like he’d been holding his breath. Then that sexy, dangerous smile returned. He glanced back at Ryder, who was staring at us like he’d witnessed a miracle and wasn’t quite sure what to do with it.
“I told you she wouldn’t be mad,” Sterling said proudly. He smacked a kiss against my cheek and stood back up.
And yes, I did understand how strange it was that all of this was happening with me basically paralyzed.
Sterling turned toward Harvey and began to stalk toward him. Harvey’s eyes were wide with terror as he watched Sterling approach. He held up his hands beseechingly. “Now, Sterling, they deserved it. I was trying to help them. They needed to be punished, and I did it. I helped them be good.”
Sterling crouched in front of Harvey. From where I sat, I could see the exact moment Harvey realized this wasn’t going to be quick. Any more words he had died in his throat.
Sterling pulled a small, serrated knife from his boot and held it up so the dim light caught the edge. He didn’t say anything at first, just let Harvey stare at it.
“You were going to take her from me,” he said simply. “So I’m going to take everything from you.”
He started with Harvey’s fingers.
He pinned Harvey’s right hand to the floor with his knee, pressed the blade to the base of the index finger, and sawed. Harvey’s scream echoed off the stone walls, and I savored it, thinking of all the women who’d been in this room unable to scream, like me.
Blood seeped across the floor, and I absently wondered how Ryder was going to explain this when he did finally bring Harvey in.
His body, that is. I understood clearly that Harvey would not be turned in alive.
Sterling worked methodically, taking the finger clean off, then moving to the next. Harvey thrashed, but Sterling’s weight held him down like he was nothing.