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My mother came through the sliding doors wearing a black swimsuit under a white cover-up and carrying a pitcher of iced tea as if she hadn’t been waiting all morning to continue this conversation.

“Marriage,” she said, lowering herself onto the chaise beside mine, “is not about constant excitement.”

I turned my head. “Did you come out here just to say that?”

“I came out here to sit by my pool and get a little sun on my legs.”

“And discuss marriage.”

“You looked trapped in your thoughts. I’m rescuing you.”

“That’s what this is?” I refilled my glass from the pitcher.

“Paul is steady. That may sound dull to you now, but steady becomes attractive later in life.”

I looked at the pool, where sunlight broke across the water in bright, shifting pieces. Somewhere beyond the hedge, a dog barked twice then quieted.

“What if I want more than steady?”

“Then make sure more has a job, a savings account, and decent manners.”

“Very romantic.”

“Romance gets people to the church. Safety and character get them through the flu and worse.”

I laughed because I couldn’t help it, and for a moment she smiled too.

Then she reached over and touched my knee, something she hadn’t done since I was a teenager.

“I don’t want you to end up feeling trapped, Lorrie.”

That surprised me enough that I looked at her.

“I don’t,” she said. “But I also don’t want you mistaking uncertainty for depth. Some men make a woman feel alive because they keep her afraid of losing them.”

Dean’s face rose in my mind. Him behind the counter at Side A, his hands on a record sleeve, his almost smile. Dean looking at me as though he cared, but he still hadn’t said the words.

“He isn’t like that,” I said. I hadn’t meant to say it aloud.

“Who?”

“No one.”

“Laura Catherine.”

I turned my face toward the pool. “Just someone I know.”

“The young man from the record store?”

Trust Bitsy to make a record store sound like an illegal gambling club.

“Dean.”

She was quiet long enough that a bee found the rim of my tea, walked around once, then moved on.

“Does Paul know about Dean?”

“There’s nothing to know.”