Page 81 of Breaking the Ice

It’s fulfilling. It feeds my soul. I feel seen in a way I’ve never experienced before. But I’m not sure I can say any of that, even to Jonas.

He shakes his head. “You’re definitely the last guy I would have guessed would be married by graduation. But I’m happy for you.”

All my bravado slips away. If not Jonas, then who can I be honest with? “Sometimes I’m not sure it will last until then.”

“Seriously?” He leans forward, radiating concern. “Are you guys okay?”

“Yeah. It just turns out, it’s a big decision. Not something you should do on a tipsy dare in Vegas.”

My best friend laughs. “Well, yeah, but Isabella wouldn’t have said yes if she wasn’t into the idea. And she wouldn’t have stuck with it if she didn’t like you.”

Her words to her dad echo in my mind. “I hope you’re right. It’s complicated.”

“Relationships always are.” He stares at his hands, clasped between his knees, his voice pensive.

“Are you okay, dude?” I ask.

“Yeah. There’s just a lot to figure out, right? Looking for a job after graduation, and all. I don’t want to smother Hadley, but I want to stick close to Harrison so that we’re not too far apart. She’s planning on a semester abroad next year, and I’d never hold her back, but god, sometimes that sounds like torture.” He huffs a quiet laugh. “When I think about not seeing her for three or four months, getting married in Vegas can look like a good idea, you know?”

“It’s bad when my choices seem wise, my friend.”

We both laugh for real, breaking the tension, and I feel free to admit, “I might be married, but I’m not always sure how to be a husband.”

“You did a great job taking care of Isabella the other day. You don’t give yourself enough credit. Just keep showing up in the little things. They add up to big things.”

His face changes, then, as Hadley walks into the room. It’s like his expression goes all soft and mushy. She settles on the couch next to him, almost on his lap, and her smile is so wide, it practically splits her face in two. Last summer I would have made fun of them for it. But now my heart squeezes in my chest. Because I want what they have, the easy affection, the security between them. I might be married, but I still have a long way to go.

Keep showing up. Okay, Evan. You can do this. Make the little things matter.

Chapter

Thirty-Eight

ISABELLA

Evan: Hi.

Isabella: Hi.

Isabella: You know I’m in the kitchen, right?

Isabella: Like, right across the room.

Isabella: You can see me if you shift to the right.

Evan: Oooh, good idea.

Evan: Just did, and your butt looks amazing.

Isabella: You’re ridiculous.

Evan: You love it.

Isabella: Yes, I do.

“How’s student teaching going?” Hadley asks, leaning against the kitchen counter in Jonas’s apartment.

I fill a bowl with popcorn and toss a kernel in my mouth, then crunch it and swallow. “You know, it’s pretty fun. Exhausting and hard, but I love it, too.”