Page 58 of The Pakhan’s Hidden Heir

We all knew this moment was coming, though it came sooner than we thought. And my enemies probably expect it too.

The objective is to get Raina and my son back to my home safely and keep them under guard until I’m sure no immediate attack is planned. But I can’t form words.

Just thinking about that risk makes me gut-sick.

I straighten my jacket, pull in a breath, and roll the tension out of my shoulders until I’m standing like a man in charge of the room again instead of the fool fearing everything. “Stand guard over my son.” I look him dead in the eye. “Nobody touches that child but Dr. Nikitin, Raina, and his nurses, until I say so. You plant yourself at that door and you don’t move off it, understand me?”

“Understood.” Akim’s already turning to take up a spot by the door, squaring himself to the hallway. “Are you going to see him?” he asks, watching me expectantly, and my knee-jerk reaction is to say yes.

I would rush right in there and hold that child instantly. But right now emotions are high—mine and Raina’s.

I know how emotional she gets, and I’m no fool. I know she wants me. She never once had to spell it out for me to know. The damn problem is I wanted it too—want it too.

Which is exactly why I can’t go in there right now.

“The baby sounds healthy. I’m going home. Stay on her until she’s ready to come home. Have Ingrid stay with you. When you get to the estate, put her in her room and have the nurse there round the clock. We’ll keep the boy in the bassinet with her for now.”

This is the hardest choice I’ve ever had to make, but I know it’s the right one.

Raina will be safer if no one knows how much I love her.

And the boy—god we never picked a name yet—he’ll be safer for now too.

My mind and energy is better spent ensuring my empire is running smoothly and my enemies are kept at bay.

I’ll handle the emotional fall out later.

After I wrangle mine into submission.

22

RAINA

Felix has drained me three times since four a.m., but every time I try to lay him in his bassinet, he goes rigid and starts screaming.

I’m exhausted, but I don’t dare put him down or he’ll cry.

He’s been like this for days now, more than a week, and the only time I sleep is when I finally break down and allow Ingrid to take him for me. I don’t like it, but a mother has to sleep, and it’s not like his father has been around enough to help me.

My eyes start to droop, my arm burning but holding the baby steady against my side as my toes rhythmically push the floor to keep the chair rocking. Ingrid comes in with a fresh glass of water, setting it on the table at my elbow.

It startles me awake and I watch her tiptoe over to check the glass she brought me an hour ago.

“Barely a sip,” she says, clicking her tongue. “You should be drinking more water. You’re feeding a baby, Raina. You can’t run yourself dry.”

“I keep forgetting it’s even there.” I take the glass and drink half of it down to satisfy her, then rest it on my knee. “The days have run together so badly I couldn’t tell you what I ate yesterday, or whether I ate at all. I’m so exhausted.”

She crouches in front of me, folding her hands over the top of my knee and searching my face with a frown. “That’s exactly what worries me. You’re worn down to nothing, and you won’t let anyone help you one bit. Give him here, just for an hour. Go sleep, and I’ll wake you the moment he stirs.”

“I’ve got him, Ingrid.” I tighten my hold on Felix until she sighs and lets it drop, giving my knee a pat as she stands.

We’ve had this same conversation a dozen times and it always ends the same way, with me too frightened to put him down and her too kind to press me on it.

Akim has made it very clear what he thinks of me.

I have no doubt he’d gladly feed Bastian lies just to separate me from Felix and have me thrown out now.

Or worse, now that the heir is here, Akim could harm me and Bastian has what he wants. He never wanted me anyway; only the baby.