Page 37 of The Pakhan’s Hidden Heir

I barely have time to shrink back behind the cabinet before he comes stalking out into the hall, brushing past close enough that the air moving around him stirs my hair.

He doesn’t see me as he stomps toward the stairs, and the moment his footsteps drop away down them, I slip out of the shadow and push through the gap in the door. I need to speak to Bastian.

He turns at the sound, sleeves rolled to the elbow, tie already loosened, and when his eyes find me standing in his doorway he pauses, lifting his chin.

His eyes sweep over me and I notice a hint of recognition, like he’s familiar with me but forcing himself to be distant.

“You have your own room now,” he says and he looks away. “That was the arrangement. I’d have thought you’d want to make use of it.” There’s a paper in his hand, which he seems to focus on, but I see him watching me in the periphery when I don’t walk away.

“I heard what he said about me.” I step into the room farther, feeling suddenly shy about being in here where I’m clearly not welcome. “None of that was true, Bastian. I didn’t do any of that. I don’t want to be locked up.” I want to tell him I don’t want my own room either, but I don’t press right now. I heard him snap at Akim; I don’t want to be on his bad side.

“He tends toward caution.” Bastian folds the paper and slides his hands into his pockets. “It’s why I keep him.”

“But he was lying about me.” I take another step closer, hurt by the sudden changes. I don’t want to believe the magic between us was all in my head, but I’m starting to wonder if he ever wanted me for anything other than sex. “Why are you being so cold to me, all of a sudden? We were getting along so well.” My bottom lip trembles when his eyes meet mine. “We laugh and talk and we had a great time…what changed?”

“Nothing that concerns you.”

“It concerns me a great deal.” My throat constricts as tears well up. I’ve been more emotional lately, and Ingrid says it’s because of pregnancy hormones. I’ve learned a lot from her, though I’d rather experience life with him, not tell him about it second hand. “Did I do something wrong? I mean, you can tell me. I didn’t mean to⁠—”

“You didn’t do anything, Raina. Nothing changed. This is who I’ve always been.” He tilts his head, studying me like a puzzle he can’t quite work out. The entire time I feel jilted, like I’ve been lied to. This isn’t him. This isn’t who he’s always been. He’s been warm and funny, and compassionate. I know it. I fell for him.

“I don’t know what you thought you were looking at these past few weeks, but I’ve never changed who I am for anyone, least of all you. We have an agreement, do we not?”

I stand there and let it settle, one piece at a time.

There’s no cruelty in the way he says any of it either, which makes it that much harder to absorb.

He’s matter-of-fact and cold but not mean.

And he’s not necessarily being harsh either.

“Right,” I manage at last, taking a slow step back toward the door. “Of course. I’m sorry to have bothered you.”

I shrink into the hallway as he stands there gawking at me like I’m a circus show, and when I shut the door the first tear falls.

Have I been dreaming his warmness up in my head?

Didn’t he compliment me when we had dinner?

Wasn’t he happy to be with me when we went shopping?

We spoke every day for weeks, and now I’m pregnant and he wants nothing to do with me.

Was it just in my head? Was it a fantasy?

I make my way back to my bedroom, wishing I could call Lada and get her advice.

This is exactly what she warned me about, right? She knew I would catch feelings and be hurt?

And she feared that somehow Bastian was a monster, which only goes to show me that maybe she’s right.

He didn’t say anything about getting my phone back from Akim. Or when it might happen.

I was wrong. I should’ve listened to her and taken things more slowly. Maybe then my heart wouldn’t feel like it’s being crushed.

As I climb into bed, still fully clothed, and pull the covers over my head, I let the tears slide down my cheeks.

Bastian is stressed out with work, so much so that he’s having to have Akim watch me instead of himself. That’s all this is. I know it.