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SABINA

Dullness throbs through me like a tired headache that's spreading all through my body. Every muscle, right down to my toes and fingertips, complains about the same ache rippling through my body in slow waves.

First, there's nothing but darkness.

Then a little light.

Then a lot of light. Each slow breath that rushes through me seems to peel back a layer a little more each time. It's like coming up for air except I'm not quite able to breach the surface. It remains over me like an invisible, blurry blanket that keeps me down even though I want to be up.

I have to be up.

Cassian's voice rumbles through the air around me like he's there and not there, but no matter how hard I blink, I'm unable to quite open my eyes. Everything remains just out of reach, just out of touch.

But I'm conscious of it all.

Cool tubes resting against one arm. A scratchy blanket over the top of me. Heat radiating from my abdomen like a hot water bottle's been resting there for far too long.

Then Cassian's voice again. His words are so unclear and I try to relax my jaw as if unclogging my ears will let his words reach me clearly.

It doesn't work. I remain underwater.

And the heat in my abdomen grows from a flame into a full-grown blaze. Hot and stiff, every instinct screams at me to move away as if I'm resting against an open flame, but none of my limbs listen to me. Relief comes when something moves that scratchy blanket away, then the fabric constricting around my body is plucked and torn.

For a second, cool air rushes past my skin and soothes the fire but it doesn't last. Within seconds, the fire is back and Cassian's voice vanishes.

I'm alone again.

Darkness consumes me once more, but just as I give in to the never-ending abyss, my eyes snap open, and a snap heat ravages my body so quickly that sweat breaks out across my forehead and stings under my armpits.

Fuck.

What happened?

The last thing I remember is fighting with those guards and that fucking woman sticking a needle in my neck. It simultaneously feels like it just happened and also like it was so long ago.

My tongue rests fat and dry against my teeth, and strange, dull thumps rise up from my left. I blink slowly and the blurriness eases. It continues to fade with each blink so I brace my sluggish hands on the bed and slowly try to sit up.

I glimpse the open door, then a sudden, sharp pain flares up across my abdomen and seeps so deep inside me that I can't bring myself to breathe for fear of making the pain worse.

As sharp as it is, there's a dullness to it as well. Glancing down, my gown is cut open at my belly, revealing a short, thick incision stitched tightly together.

Holy shit.

Did they take it? Did they take my kidney?

Wait… my gown. That wasn't a dream. Someone really cut it open. Does that mean Cassian was really here?

My room is empty but the distant dull thuds grow in volume.

I have to move.

I can't stay here. I have to go.

Swinging my legs over the edge of the bed leaves me breathless, but the pain from ripping the line out of my arm doesn't even breach the fire raging across my abdomen. Pressing my hand against the wound, I slowly ease myself down onto the floor but it takes a few long seconds for my mind to catch up and remember how my legs work.

It's like everything in my mind has paused unless I specifically focus on how to do it.