Page 200 of Commanding Scythe and Sky

“Can we be redeemed if our good deeds are only done in pursuit of redemption?”

“I dunno.”

“But you’re going to try?”

“Kade is… very persuasive.”

“Kade…”

“You met him. Stayed with him once—at least, that’s what he said.”

“Hmm…”

Silence settled for several long breaths before the shadow repeated, “Don’t sleep, Alvara Porter. He’ll come for you.”

I sat with that for a while, mostly because none of it made sense. The name least of all.

At last, I asked, “Why aren’t you a good person?”

“Evil in my blood, I suppose.”

“In your blood?”

“My hierarchy—my people—praised ruthlessness. I took it too far, as I always did.”

“As always?” My voice sounded strange. Almost sing-song.

“That’s a long story.”

“Hmm.” I tucked my knees to my chest and folded inward until my forehead rested against them. “Tell me the story,” I murmured. “I think I like them… stories. Collect them, somehow.”

“Fuck me.”

“I don’t think I like the meaning of that phrase.”

“Christ, not literally, Ally.”

“Is your story literal?”

With a pained sigh, he answered, “Yes. But I don’t like talking about this shit.”

“I cannot explain it, but I think I die here.”

“Fuck that—no. I swear to you, he’s coming.”

“But if I did, would you not regret keeping your story from me? Sometimes sharing a burden with a friend makes it easier to carry.”

Or… something like that. A friend had once said something like that.

The shadow remained quiet for a long while. Long enough for me to hear rodents scuttling, water dripping from some unseen pipe, and smell mold thickening the dark.

“It started with an unrequited love story.”

“I think I like love stories.”

“Well. You won’t like this one…”

THIRTY-NINE