Page 57 of His to Own

He touched me. Spanked me. Gave me an orgasm. I hated it and loved it at the same time. How is that possible? I’m not sure. I just know that Maxim has a spell on me and I have no idea if that’s a good thing or not.

The man who once kidnapped my sister. The man who murdered two men to get to me. The man who hit Alexei to get him to stay away from me.

The man who wants me to not be so shy. The man who encourages me to get an education. The man who gave me pleasure.

It’s all so confusing.

“What’s going on in that head of yours?” he asks, startling me. When I slightly jump, his eyes finally flick to mine. I quickly look down at my plate full of food. I haven’t touched a bite. My mother always told me to not eat much. I remember going to bed most nights hungry until my stomach got used to it.

“Nothing,” I squeak.

“Nothing? So you’re not thinking about the way I touched you last night?”

“No.” My face is on fire and I know Maxim can notice it.

“Well, that’s a shame then. Because I was thinking I wanted to touch you again.”

I swallow hard. “Why would you do that?”

He shrugs. “Why wouldn’t I do that? You’re my wife. I’m your husband. Isn’t it my duty to touch my wife?”

“Like you touched other women?” I don’t know why I ask it. Actually, that’s a lie. I know exactly why I ask it. To put distance between us.

Maxim goes cold and still and I can’t make out his expression. “Does it make you jealous that I’ve touched other women?”

“Why would it make me jealous? You did those things before we were married.” But it in fact does make me jealous. When that one naked woman, Sofiya, was in our house on our wedding day, it hurt. Knowing that Maxim had been with women while he was still pursuing me. I shouldn’t care but I do.

Why do I even care though?

“I did. And I have no intention of fucking other women now that we’re married.”

“I thought you planned on doing that. I remember you saying that the day of my birthday after Sergei…” Had hit me.

“Ah. That.” He leans back in his seat, looking the picture of calm. Why does he get to be so calm and I’m an anxious mess all the time? “I did say that, didn’t I? When Nikolai offered me this deal, I figured that you’d be boring and ugly and that I would still sleep around. But then I met you and I found that you’re much more interesting that I thought you would be. And much more beautiful too.”

I duck my chin to my chest, letting my hair cover my face. “My father never thought so.”

“What do you mean?”

I shake my head. To reveal these things to Maxim is too much. Too much pain. Hurt. Discomfort. I just want to disappear for a moment. Maybe forever.

“Don’t do that,” Maxim says in his hard tone.

“Do what?” I whisper.

“Hide away. I don’t like it. Tell me what’s on your mind.”

“Why do you get to demand that of me?”

Maxim stares at me for a long moment, I’m not sure if he’s going to speak. When he does, I can’t help but shiver. “I don’t like seeing how you hurt yourself. I’m trying to help.”

“By controlling me?”

“I’m a mafia man, Elena. I never claimed to be a good man. Tell me what’s on your mind. What did you mean by your comment about your father?”

“I don’t want to talk about my parents.” I try to take a bite of the eggs on my plate but they taste slimy and gross all of a sudden.

His eyes flick between my plate and my face. “You don’t eat much I’ve noticed.” Of course he noticed. He notices everything.