Page 29

"You okay?" His voice is strained.

"Yeah. Just... you're a lot."

"We can stop."

"I don't want to stop." I take a breath and try to relax, but my body is tense. This is where things used to hurt with Trevor. Where he'd get impatient and push and I'd grit my teeth and pretend it was fine.

"Lyla." Kieran's hands are gentle on my hips. "Look at me."

I meet his eyes.

"We don't have to do this today. We can stop right here. We can just lie together. Whatever you need."

"I don't want to stop. I want this. I'm just..." I struggle to articulate what I'm feeling. "I'm scared it's going to hurt. Or that I won't be able to do it right. Or that you'll get frustrated with me."

"I'm not going to get frustrated. And there's no 'right' way to do this. It's just you and me figuring it out together." His thumbs trace soothing circles on my hips. "What would help right now?"

No one has ever asked me that during sex. "I don't know."

"Do you want me to be in control? Would that be easier?"

I think about it. About how I always felt like I had to perform with Trevor, had to make sure he was happy, had to ignore my own discomfort. "No. I think I need to stay in control. I just... I need a minute."

"Take all the time you need. I'm not going anywhere."

He says it so simply, so certainly, that something in me relaxes. I close my eyes and focus on breathing, on the feeling of his hands on my skin, on the fact that he's waiting patiently instead of pushing.

After a moment, I sink down a little more. The stretch is still intense, but it doesn't hurt the way I expected. I pause again, adjusting, and Kieran just holds me steady.

"Better?" he asks quietly.

"Yeah. Better."

I sink down a bit more, taking him deeper. My body is starting to adjust, to relax around him.

When I'm about halfway, I pause again and rock experimentally. The sensation makes us both groan.

"Fuck, you feel incredible," he says.

I sink down the rest of the way, taking him fully, and we both make sounds. His hands tighten on my waist, and I can see the effort it's taking him to stay still.

"You okay?" I ask.

"Yeah. You?"

"Yeah. Really okay."

I start to move, slowly at first, lifting and sinking back down. His hands guide me but don't control me, just helping me find a rhythm. When I lean forward slightly, changing the angle, we both groan.

"Like that," he says. "Just like that."

I pick up the pace gradually, getting used to the feeling of him inside me, the stretch that's intense but good. His hands are on my hips, my breasts, my thighs, touching me everywhere like he can't get enough.

"You're so fucking beautiful like this," he says, voice rough. "Riding me, taking what you want. So perfect."

His words make me move faster. I'm not thinking anymore, just feeling. The pleasure is building again, different from before but just as intense.

"Kieran," I gasp out.