Page 37 of Loved By The King

“No. She wouldn’t leave me hanging like this without a reason. By now, she would’ve calmed down enough to take my calls. She would have checked on Max.”

Damian draws on his smoke and I light my own, taking a huge drag on it and coughing at its harshness. “So we find her then what? The media will tear you apart if you still marry her.”

“I don’t care! They aren’t marrying her, I am. You don’t have to like her but I fucking love her and that should be enough for you, as my brother, to accept her, Damian.”

“It’s not that I don’t accept her, I…” he trails off. “I don’t want to lose you again,” he murmurs and I peer over at him, my arms leaning on the roof of the car.

“You lost your wife, Max lost a mother, the kingdom lost their queen, but I lost my brother that day. I don’t want you to go back to that shell of a man you were. I can’t watch that again!” he growls at me. I look away hearing the crack in his voice. “It was never about hating her, trusting her, yes, trusting her with my nephew, our kingdom; I cared about that. But I mostly cared about trusting her with what was left of you.”

“I didn’t want to see you get hurt, not when you had only just started to function again.”

“She lied, Damian. Her intention was never to hurt us. She could have, but she didn’t.” I lean against the car. “You drove her away.”

“That wasn’t my intention, I just wanted to know what hers was. I wasn’t misguided, I knew something was off and it was. Yes, I added to all this mess but my intention was only to protect you!”

“How can you say that when you did everything to pull me away from her!” I yell at him, he shakes his head, his anger dissolves instantly.

“You are all I have, you and Max.”

“What are you talking about?” I snap at him knowing that is a lie.

“You were born royal, Soren. I am the royal bastard child, one not eligible for succession, your shadow despite being older than you.”

“You want to have this argument, right now? That has never been an issue for me, I don’t care who your father is! Neither does Dad!” I growl at him, he is being ridiculous.

“That is not what I mean, I couldn’t care less for the throne, nor do I want it. As for Dad, I know his position, he sees no difference between us, I’ll always be his son. But everyone else, they don’t see us as equals and they are right, we aren’t. I’m always the shadow, the outsider, my only purpose is to serve you. Mom likes to joke she will steal your throne and hand it over, same as Dad. The council would never allow that and neither would I. It's just we’ll never be equal, I will never have what you have.”

“What are you saying, Damian, you’ve lost me.”

“You are the only one who sees me as equal. Mom and Dad say I am and treat me no different from you, their love has never come under doubt, I also know I’m her biggest pain and his. But you… I’ve only ever been your brother, no judgment, no resentment. They hide it well but I know Mom regrets my father, regrets me, and I know Dad regrets not stopping him sooner. With you, I don’t have to see that regret, I can just be.” he draws back on his smoke that’s nearly finished.

“When I realized she was lying and hiding something, I wasn’t going to risk losing the only person who sees me, risk losing the only person who doesn’t see me as the stain on this family. Or as your shadow.”

When he puts it like that I understand it, however it changes nothing. It saddens me that Damian feels he has no place unless it’s at my side. That he feels like an outsider, and I can see why he feels that way. Mom started over, he is a piece of her old life which he believes has no place in her future.

“Mom doesn’t regret you, or resent you. Neither does Dad. I think they mainly don’t want to put too much pressure on you in case you decide to leave. They know I have my kingdom holding me here but you can walk away; I think that scares them.”

Damian sighs heavily, nodding before flicking his smoke. “Once we find her, I am seriously putting a tracker on her, and you and the brat. Maybe a collar and remote.” I glance at him. He shrugs.

“Let’s see you both run if I can jolt your ass to the moon.” he laughs and I roll my eyes at him, a hint of smile tugs at my lips.

“Has her car moved?” I ask him and he leans back into the car to retrieve his phone, the screen lighting up his features in the night.

“Yes, she is driving,” he answers while his fingers trace and zoom in on his phone as he tries to get a more accurate location.

“Where?” I ask. As he holds up a finger cutting me off.

“Give me a minute, Soren, I need to try to pull up another satellite to pinpoint her,” Damian responds, his focus evident in his clipped tone while his fingers move swiftly over his phone.

I run a hand through my hair, tugging at the strands in frustration. The silence stretches, punctuated only by the rapid-fire clicking of keys and my own ragged breathing each second warping time along with my patience.. I glance at my brother over the roof of the car. “Damian?” I growl, he doesn’t answer, just ignores me and continues to fiddle with the screen of his phone.

Finally, after what feels like an eternity, “Got it. I think she is heading to Blackwood Hospital.”

There’s a pause, then he continues. “We’ll call on our way to confirm, I think we need to head there now. That’s also where the AirTag is saying she was yesterday.”

Relief floods through me, quickly followed by a surge of adrenaline. “Let’s go,” I say, already tossing my smoke that I barely smoked and opening the car door. “I need to find her. I need to know she’s okay.”

Falling into my seat, I slam the door and Damian quickly climbs into the driver’s seat and starts the car. He plugs his phone in so the map with her location pops up onto the screen so we can watch her movements. My fingers tremble as I pull out my phone, I search the directory for Blackwood Hospital..