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Leia’s thumb slowly swept across Tarquin’s hand. “I sank into a really dark place. Everything made me cry, nothing gave me hope. Dad was worried, so he called my doctor, and she spoke to my psychologist. They both agreed admittance to the mental health unit was best for my recovery. It would be safer, more private than at home or with a friend. And let’s face it, I didn’t really have a lot of friends left. Just Shantelle, really.”
“Not the other wives?”
“Dropped me. I was a cautionary tale to be avoided.”
“What about Riley? You seem close?”
“Oh, we are now. Back then, she was dealing with her mom’s cancer, and honestly, she owed me nothing. Months later, I apologized for being so awful. She’s become a really good friend.”
Acknowledging when you’ve been wrong takes courage. I’m proud of her. Tarquin squeezed her hand. “How was the hospital?”
“Scary. Lonely. They watched me like a hawk, which felt unnerving. And I hated giving up control. I had no say in what I ate, who I talked to, when I slept. They put me on medication, took away my phone, and limited my access to TV. My entire existence was scheduled by someone else. Basically, a micromanager’s worst nightmare!”
Tarquin smiled kindly. “If you weren’t depressed before…”
“Right?” She laughed. “But in some ways, it was good to just be. I read a lot, attended countless therapy sessions, and let myself grieve for what I’d lost and the future I’d never have. Then, slowly but surely, I felt stronger and healthier. I was still scared about the future, but…”
“Hey, who isn’t?” Tarquin gave her a reassuring nod.
“Coming home to Saz and Dad definitely helped, though. I could have pizza! Go swimming! Just hang out with them in my place. I still felt bruised, but at least I wasn’t blaming myself anymore. By December, I was divorced, working on Frill-Seekers, and in London for the holidays.”
“And shopping in IKEA, where you rescued my phone.” And stole my heart.
“One of my best spur-of-the-moment decisions!” Leia’s warm smile dimmed. “Unlike keeping my past from you. I should’ve told you all this ages ago. In a way, what happened today was partly my fault.”
Tarquin shook his head. “No, Leia, it wasn’t. Today was signature Kiki. She loves twisting facts and gets off on making others feel uncomfortable and inferior. It’s like she gets a little hit of dopamine every time she stomps on someone’s self-esteem. Usually, she saves the belittling for smaller, more familiar audiences—me and Nick or Rupert and Fiona—but occasionally she can’t help herself and goes rogue like today. There’s no telling what will trigger her.”
“Well, see? If I’d told you about Brooke and the hospital…”
“Didn’t you just say you’ve stopped beating yourself up?”
Leia pressed her lips together as the amber flames in the fireplace crackled and danced.
“Look, if I’d known about Brooke and everything you’ve endured, Mommie Dearest would’ve found something else to use against you. Seriously, I’m not kidding when I say she’s hated all our girlfriends. Narcissists want all the attention, all the time. Girlfriends and wives just steal the limelight.” Tarquin cupped her chin. “I’d rather cut off all contact with her than allow her venomous behavior to damage what we have. You’re so precious to me, Leia. I won’t stand for it.”
She smiled fondly. “I’ll always have your back, too. But that’s why I feel sick about you announcing your depression to the world like that, just to defend mine. No one should be forced to share their most private struggles before they’re ready. You didn’t have to do that.”
“Yeah, I did, and I’d do it again in a heartbeat. I’d do anything for you.” Tarquin lifted her hand to his lips and softly kissed her knuckles. “And while I am nosey by nature and would love to know every single thing about you, I completely understand why you were hesitant to open up about Tyler and the chaos he brought into your life.”
Leia blinked up from their entwined hands with a tentative grin. “I wanted to tell you so many times, but ‘I was in a mental hospital’ isn’t something you drop into casual conversation, you know? Sharing my struggles with depression is always a huge step, but being put behind closed doors? It feels like asking someone to scale a mountain.”
“Good thing I’m an experienced climber, then.”
Leia half-laughed. “But you see, right? I couldn’t open up about the end of my marriage without going there. And it’s not that I’m ashamed of it—I don’t really think it’s that. Those three weeks brought light back into life. But still, my past is a lot to unpack. It’s a big ask for a partner to take on or understand.”
He kissed her hand again and held it against his shirt, his heart beating beneath their bond. “So, it’s complicated and messy. Leia, I’m sorry for all the pain you’ve been through, but what matters is today. Right now. This. Us.”
“Well, that’s how I feel, too. But I worry, though, once you have time to think…”
“What? You think I’ll change my mind?”
“Maybe,” Leia whispered.
“Not a chance.” He kissed her on the nose. “I can’t guarantee sunny days or pizza with grapes, but I can promise this: I’ll never hurt you.”
A soft smile pinched her cheeks as her eyes glistened. Diverting attention, she glanced over at Tarquin’s perfectly arranged photos on his bedside bookcase.
He followed her gaze, and his younger self grinned back. Shirtless in swim trunks holding a surfboard, he stood shoulder to shoulder with a sunburnt Harry. In another framed shot, the teens held glow sticks aloft in a sea of dry ice, lasers, and dancing revelers.
