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Oh… my god. Leia’s breath hitched. I was going to tell you, but not like this.
Tarquin stiffened, his expression somewhere between wariness and worry. “Leia…”
He’s horrified. Lightheadedness swooped in, swaying the room around her. Leia tightened her grip, holding on, keeping him close. “I needed help.”
“And probably still does!” Kiki foisted her phone forward. “Tarquin darling, see…” A tabloid photo glowed on its screen in full, finger-pointing color.
A tall female bowed her head, her face partially hidden under Jackie O sunglasses and the bill of a blue baseball cap. Her long blonde hair was pulled back in a loose ponytail, which splayed over the hunched shoulders of a gray Roots sweatshirt while the ragged hems of her shapeless jeans dragged on the ground. An older man—her father, maybe?—walked alongside, his expression somber and his arm protectively wrapped around her waist as they entered a Brooklyn mental health facility.
Tarquin has seen me in those sunglasses, and that sweatshirt is on our bed at Rupert’s farm. Nausea swirled in Leia’s belly as he gaped at the photo, tears brimming in his eyes. He can have no doubts now.
“Granted, this girl had dyed blonde hair and was known as Leia McClelland”—relishing the destruction she’d unleashed, an unkind grin crept across Kiki’s face—“but you used your rich husband’s surname back then, didn’t you, Leia? Poor chap. He certainly had his hands full with you: depressive episodes, panic attacks, arson—”
“I didn’t set the fire!”
“Well, you would say that, wouldn’t you?” Kiki rolled her eyes. “This girl is unstable, Tarquin! Do you really fancy playing house in London with someone certifiable? You’ll end up like Nikolai—disgraced in the papers, your reputation in tatters. Or, heaven forbid, she causes any harm to Ava and Poppy. Just saying it sends a shiver up my spine.”
Tarquin tensed up, pulling his hand free from Leia’s.
Take a bow, Kiki. You’ve done it. You’ve used the stigma of mental health to rip us apart. Tears prickled the back of Leia’s throat, but she fought them hard. She wouldn’t give Kiki the satisfaction of watching her fall apart. “Tarquin, I’m so sorry.”
“Yeah. So am I.” He swallowed hard and scrubbed both hands over his face, blinking back tears. Throwing a glance to his left, Tarquin’s eyes snagged on Rupert clutching Poppy, his brother’s brow furrowed, caught up in the confrontation. “Well, Mum, I guess you better keep Ava and Poppy away from me too, then.”
“I beg your pardon?”
What’s he doing? Leia bit her lip.
“By your definition, I must be crazy, too. I suffer from depression, Mum.”
Kiki’s alarmed stare swept the rapt audience sat on the nearby banquette. “Shh!” Her eyes flew back to her son. “You do not!”
Tarquin expelled an audible breath. “Why are you shushing me? You embarrassed, Mum? Ashamed of me? Afraid you’ll look bad by association?”
Spying Fiona and most of the party looking on, Leia stuffed her fists into the pockets of her dress. Tarquin shouldn’t have to explain his depression in public. He’s been forced into this corner because of me.
“What on Earth do you have to be depressed about?” Kiki sputtered. “I swear, you’re just doing this for attention.”
“And there it is!” Tarquin nodded and threw his hands in the air. “The reaction I expected. Let’s just sweep it under the carpet, shall we? Pretend it doesn’t exist? Because growing up, you made it abundantly clear that mental health ‘failings’, as you called them, happened to other people.” His dark gaze shifted to Leia. “When Nick was ten and had a panic attack on set, she told everyone it was an allergic reaction to shellfish! Classy, eh?”
Leia winced.
“So, after she dismissed Nick so heartlessly, there was no hope in hell I’d ever confide in her.”
Kiki scoffed. “I didn’t dismiss him! I was protecting him.”
“Bullshit! You were protecting yourself!” Tarquin pointed at her. “All that matters to you is your reputation and wealth. If you really cared, nothing would’ve been more important than the wellbeing of your child, but that’s not how the great Kiki Balfour rolls.”
“That’s not true!” she protested, jutting out a sparkly hip.
People are staring. Leia slouched and pulled her hands from her pockets. Tarquin is so private. He’ll be hating this.
His scowl slid away from his mother, his disgust lifting as he reached out to Leia. “I felt so alone, so lost—until I met this one.” Weaving his fingers through hers again, he pulled her close.
“Tarquin…” Leia pressed her lips together.
“Learning about Leia’s struggles and how she deals with them helped me find the courage to do something about mine. For too long I’ve been scared of what everyone would say and think. Not anymore. I honestly don’t give a flying fuck.”
Leia blinked back tears. “I’m proud of you,” she whispered, unlocking his soft smile.
