Page 65 of Until the Last Star Fades

I can’t budge. I’m trapped. “Josh?” Riley whispered. “You’re asleep—already?”

Face down in the nook of her neck, he answered with a long rumbling snore that tickled her skin.

“Damn.” Crunched against the wall, she wriggled, but she couldn’t shift the weight of his 215-pound body pinning her to the twin mattress. The only way is up. One-handed, she shoved a sculpted shoulder off her chest. Josh stirred, his snores cut off by a sharp snort, but even with a little breathing room, Riley had no space to shift. Thanks, wall! She lowered him back down. Even if she could push him off, there was nowhere to go. The bed wasn’t made for two adults, especially when one of them was a six-foot-two, broad-chested hockey hunk—one who was lying like a starfish with a muscled leg dangling over the edge of the mattress—and waking him…no. She could feel a throbbing hardness against her thigh. It didn’t take much for Josh to get turned on, even in his sleep, and if she woke him, he would be raring to go. At this hour, Riley didn’t feel like having an argument or an orgasm; she just wanted sleep.

The raucous shouts of early morning drinkers burst through the open window, and a slight breeze ballooned the curtain before sucking it back into the frame. She dipped her chin, catching a glimpse of Josh’s face tucked into her neck. He looked peaceful, almost smug. I wish I could fall asleep satisfied. Sex with Josh was always athletic, like he had something to prove. They’d done it twice, both times standing up—Josh’s go-to position. The first sesh wasn’t pleasurable or comfortable, and if the ache was anything to go by, bruises from the ladder were already blooming across her back and ass. Their encore was better. Off the floor against the coat and garment bag-covered door, arms and legs wrapped around him, Riley held on tight as Josh thrusted away, his hazel eyes darkening as his breathing became more labored. Anyone passing in the hall would’ve known exactly what they were up to. Josh’s momentum made the door creak and whine, and he groaned loudly when he came. And—surprise—Riley came, too. When was the last time he made me come? Months…last summer, maybe? Maybe longer. She always felt closer to him, more connected—meant to be—in those vulnerable moments after the waves of shared pleasure washed over them, tangled in a heap of arms and legs, hurried breaths and whispered promises…but moments like tonight were mostly in the past, before post-graduation possibilities beckoned, before the distance grew both physically and emotionally. Their lives were changing quickly, creating obvious cracks in their relationship. These fractures were becoming more pronounced, turning into fissures filled with new hopes, old dreams, and renewed fears about growing up. Riley’s gaze left Josh and landed on the ceiling, inches away from her nose. Will marriage repair the rift? Or make it worse? Shuffling through the night’s events, Riley bit her lip. Maybe, maybe…not? If she couldn’t sleep, she might as well work through this…

Negatives

Josh was chasing his orgasm the first time and didn’t wait for me to reach mine, so I faked it.

He didn’t last long either time. Same old position, rough and hard. No tenderness.

Didn’t offer to go down on me (never does), but asked for a blow job, which I refused.

Fell asleep immediately after. No cuddling. Was going to take me out for late meal but…

Positives

Josh showed up here out of the blue. He came all that way, for me.

Brought me flowers (He never does! Always blames his allergies).

Made sure I finished the second time. Felt good.

Says he has several surprises for me tomorrow. Hmm.

Score

Negatives 4, positives 4—a tie. Looks like we’re headed to overtime.

Unable to move, her eyes gently closed. No matter the final score, you have to think of Mom. You’ll marry him because he loves you, and because it’s the only way you can help her. A tear escaped her lashes and slipped down her cheek.

Twenty-Eight

Ben stared upward, counting a cluster of glow-in-the-dark stars peeling off the bedroom ceiling. This would be cool if they were constellations, but they’ve just been thrown up there, all wonky. Swallowing again, a bitter taste tortured his tongue. Next time, don’t waste two days’ tips on cheap beer… A soft moan pulled his eyes away. Across the pillows, a brunette smiled in her sleep, a mumble of giggly nonsense slipping past her smudged lipstick. Or on girls you’ve just met. She flipped onto her back and bent her knees, tugging the bedsheets off her chest, which Ben had feathered with kisses an hour earlier.

What am I doing? She’s a laugh, but the whole time I was thinking…of Riley…how she would taste, what sounds she would make, if she would lie in my arms after. Christ, I want her so bad.

Laughter accompanied by a blast of music from a just-switched-on TV crept under the crack of the bedroom door. Roommates? Does, erm…shit, I can’t remember her name! Ben scratched his chin. Did she even tell me? He rolled onto his side, the shift causing something to jab the skin underneath his regrown happy trail. Aah!? A skim of his hand and…the condom wrapper. He balled it up in his fist. Riley would never be just a one-night shag. I’d want more. I’d want to be with her, properly… He frowned. Jeez, these things I’m thinking, I used to laugh at. You do like to torture yourself, don’t you, mate?

He pulled up the sheets, covering the girl who continued her sleepy soliloquy.

It’s better this way, Riley being with Josh, me fucking around—I don’t DO relationships. The minute you care about someone, you get hurt. Simple as that.

Ruffling his hair, he checked his phone—2:36 A.M. Shit. Gotta work in four hours. He lowered one foot to the floor and eased out of the bed slowly, careful not to bounce the mattress and wake the nameless woman. His other foot landed on something small and sharp. Oww! What now? Using his phone, he shone a light on the floor, the glow illuminating three small candy hearts. Riley’s naff American sweets—must’ve been in my pocket. A tightness squeezed his chest. Get over it, mate. Sometimes the heart wants what it can’t have.

Quiet and quick, he threw on his clothes and returned the candy to his pocket. He felt around for his shoes and, without tying the laces, grabbed his hoodie then slipped out the bedroom door.

Twenty-Nine

Riley’s heart melted as quickly as the vanilla ice cream collecting in the holes of her warm Belgian waffle. “I can’t believe you brought me here.” Her eyes climbed the twisty trunk of a real African acacia tree looming overhead. Its branches and leaves stretched towards the high ceiling, mingling with the other trees to create a magical forest canopy inside The Garden, the Four Seasons Hotel’s restaurant. This place is otherworldly and so expensive. Josh hates places like this. He’s trying…he’s really trying!

“I want today to be memorable.” He pointed his fork at the enormous trunk next to their table. “I wonder how fast those trees grow? Bet Erika knows.”

Riley held her breath. “Is she here?” With her recent promotion, Erika had been working more weekends to make herself as visible to upper management as possible. “Did she arrange this reservation?”

“You kidding? She’d show up and talk non-stop about her wedding. No way—today is about us.”