Page 20 of Until the Last Star Fades

“If you’re happy, sweetie. If you love him and want to spend your life with him…then hell yeah.” Maggie leaned forward, searching Riley’s eyes. “But if you’re not sure, it’s okay to say no. You’re only twenty-two—there’s no rush. I remember you seemed to be having doubts a few months ago, so don’t feel pressured to say yes if you’re not ready or it doesn’t feel right.”

“I know.” Riley swallowed heavily. There are so many reasons why I should’ve said no and one big reason why I had to say yes.

“If you’re worried saying yes to Josh means saying no to your career…”

Yeah, that’s one for the no column, sure. She nodded.

“Riley, you don’t have to choose between a job and Josh. There are TV stations in Saint Paul.”

“But I won’t be able to work toward directing or casting programs there. I don’t want just any TV job, Mom. I’ve spent four years at Tisch with the goal of getting an entry-level job in production. That’s been the plan since sophomore year, me and Piper going to LA together.”

“Well, that’s still an option. You could go with Piper this fall, test the waters and see if you get hired, and maybe Josh can ask for a trade to the LA Kings in a year or two so you can be together. Sometimes we have to wait a little bit for what we want most.” Maggie chewed the last piece of popsicle. “Do you remember your dad’s thirtieth birthday?”

“Maybe.” Riley squinted, not sure what was coming.

“You were three years old, my little shadow, sitting on a chair watching me make his cake—”

“Red velvet with fluffy white frosting?”

Maggie nodded. “That’s right! I explained the cake was for your dad’s birthday and we couldn’t eat it until he blew out his candles, but I said you could have a spoon of frosting when I was done icing the cake.”

“Ooh, my fave part of baking.”

“Your eyes grew three times their size when I gave you that spoon. You sat there licking away, frosting all over your face, happy as a clam. I turned my back for one minute, and you stood up on the chair and plunged face-first into that cake!”

“I was such a little pig!”

“You were adorable! But when I lifted you away, you cried. You saw cake and thought, Mine. I tried to explain that you can’t always have what you want when you want it.” Maggie discarded the popsicle stick on the table. “Maybe this is the same lesson…”

Riley nodded. I wish I could be patient…but more than that, I wish I didn’t feel trapped. I wish I could help pay Mom’s bills and get her the best treatment on my own, so I didn’t have to say yes to Josh.

“What did Piper and Erika say?”

Riley stood up. “I haven’t told them.” She picked up a jug of water from the table. “I wanted time to enjoy our news before everyone offers opinions on dates, dresses…” Her chest felt tight, her voice flat…lying to her mom—the worst. She poured some water into a paper cup and added an angled straw, which bobbed and pointed back at her like an accusing finger. I can’t tell her what Piper said…the doubts. Mom would start questioning, even more than she is now. She can’t find out the truth. She’ll make me call it off.

“Smart move. Everyone’s got an opinion.”

Riley handed her mom the cup. “I wanted to tell you first.”

Maggie softly smiled and took a sip. “So, where’s this ring, then?”

Riley winced. “The candy wrappers fell out of my tote on the bus…”

“You kept the wrappers? That’s my girl. Sickly sentimental…or maybe scary hoarder?”

“Mom! The ring wasn’t in the wrappers or my bag when I got home…I lost it.”

“Aww. But I doubt Josh expected you to wear it.”

“You’d be surprised. Wanna bet he’ll ask about it? He’s so excited, he’d tattoo ‘fiancée’ on my forehead if he could.” Riley chuckled nervously.

“Did you discuss a date?”

“Only that it won’t be this year.”

Maggie smiled and held Riley’s hand, both refusing to verbalize what they were thinking.

“Mom, if you need chemo this fall, I’ll delay the move—”