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His posture stiffened. “Why didn’t you tell me you were having panic attacks again?”
She bowed her head.
“Lex.” He scooted closer, wrapping his arm around her shoulder. “I would’ve come home, rearranged…” The rest of the sentence stuck in the back of his throat.
“And what?” Alex slowly shook her head. “Get fined like you did on January 2nd? Or worse? Mark, I don’t want you resenting me. I don’t want you regretting being with me.”
“I don’t regret being with you. I love you. You’re the most important thing in my—”
Alex’s hand pushed pause on Mark’s chest as tears gathered in her eyes. “We both know that’s not true, not anymore.”
“It won’t be this crazy forever…just hold on a little longer.” Mark pulled her closer. “Please…don’t give up on us.”
“I’m not giving up on us. You gave up on us…the moment you slipped into Fallon’s bed.” Her voice cracked, each word tearing them further apart.
“No. Lex—”
“Mark, it’s over.” The tears she choked back clogged her throat. “Please go.”
His hand slipped from her shoulder, his jaw slack. He stared at the wall for a moment before scooping his phone from the table. He stood up, eyes glued to the floor. “We’ll…We’ll have things to sort out, living arrangements…all that.” Dazed, he blinked and turned to his left, walking around the back of the sofa so he didn’t have to face Alex or squeeze between her and the table. “They’ll have to wait until filming wraps next month. I’ve gotta…head to the airport…” His chin trembled.
Alex rose to her feet, but her knees wobbled like jelly. Tears trickled down her cheeks.
Keeping his back to her, Mark wiped his nose with the edge of his wrist and tugged on his boots, ignoring their laces. He slipped on his coat, dumping his keys and phone in the pockets.
The half-dozen steps to the door took all of Alex’s energy, her chest tightening with each sob and gulp for air. The room began to sway ever so slightly. She reflexively reached for the Vespa charm, but it wasn’t there.
Mark leaned towards the chair and his sunglasses but changed course, turning around quickly towards Alex. He threw his arms around her shoulders, crushing her body with his and leaving a tender kiss on her forehead. Clinging to her, halting breaths shuddered through his chest as he finally gave in to the tears he had fought to suppress.
Alex pressed her face into his neck and dug her fingers into his waist, pulling him tighter, trying to commit his scent, his heartbeat, the warmth of his body to memory. If only New Year’s hadn’t been spent in Dublin. If only Mark didn’t choose Wink each time…if only…if only…he hadn’t cheated on her. Letting go was the right thing to do, but her disintegrating heart begged her to reconsider. There was nothing she could do. Their time had simply…run out. Another wave of tears spilled from her eyes.
He inhaled purposefully and trembled upon its release. With a final squeeze, he let go. “I love you, Mouse, always.”
She swiped her wet cheeks with a hand and licked her lips, tasting a melancholy mix of salty tears, hers and Mark’s. She wrapped her arms around her quaking chest, barely holding herself together.
Mark put on his sunglasses, grabbed his backpack, and pulled open the door. He walked away without turning back.