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“I missed you. I guess I was…lonely.” Devin scratched at the stubble on the back of his head. “This sounds terrible but…it felt exciting, risky…we both figured it would be a harmless hook-up that wouldn’t survive beyond the summer. But it was hard to end once we came back to Emory.”

“Yeah, and then you and I started up where we left off in the spring. I didn’t leave your room for days, remember? No wonder Taylor was off with me that first week.” Alex shook her head. “At least you didn’t give me crabs or gonorrhea. I should count my blessings. God, I feel like a walking billboard for naivety.”

“I always used a condom.”

“Oh nice! That’s you to a tee, Devin. Ever so thoughtful, even with a raging hard-on for my best friend.”

“I still loved you—even in the middle of it all. I felt torn.”

“But you didn’t love me enough to keep it in your pants—or be honest about it afterwards.”

Arms crossed, she leaned against the railing and bared her teeth. “You two danced around the truth for weeks. Taylor froze me out. All those cancellations, ignored texts. I felt guilty, like I had done something to her…and you, you were almost too attentive. Suddenly driving me to my part-time job. Surprising me in the library with cookies…and then—bam! One morning I’m cuddled up in your duvet while you shower, and a Snapchat message lights up your phone…”

Devin bowed his head.

“You know what’s the worst part of all this…you were everything to me. You were the one who helped me deal with my panic attacks. By sophomore year, I didn’t have them anymore, remember?”

He nodded, avoiding eye contact.

“You were always supportive, listened to my problems with my mom. Encouraged me to keep going in spite of her opposition.”

“I tried to,” he said softly.

“But when you fucked Taylor, all that foundation crumbled. The panic attacks started again and all that self-doubt I battled came flooding back. I felt abandoned all over again.”

She jabbed a finger into her own chest, sniffing back tears. “I loved you more than anything. But that wasn’t enough, was it? Mine wasn’t the face you searched for on campus. It wasn’t me you thought about before falling asleep…”

They both stared straight ahead down the Thames. Big Ben chimed six times in the distance behind them.

“Cast aside. Replaced. Forgotten.” Alex wiped her eyes. “And now you want something, right? That’s why you’re really here. So, c’mon—what is it?”

He offered a weak smile, but pulled it back when Alex didn’t look at him. “I know it’s a big ask…I just wish you could forgive me. Or at least not be mad at me anymore. I think it would help you move on. It would help both of us.”

A half-laugh rose in her throat. She pounded her fist against the railing. “Well, I can’t. You lied. Pretended everything was normal. You broke my heart…”

She stopped short, her tight grimace breaking apart into a full-on laugh.

Devin flinched. “What’s so funny?”

“Why didn’t I realize this before now?”

“What?”

“God, I have to laugh. Otherwise…” She shook her head. “It’s so Gossip Girl!”

“Sorry?” He shrugged. “You guys used to binge watch it on Netflix, yeah, I know…”

“I was Blair. Taylor was Serena. You were Nate. We were bloody Gossip Girl. The love triangle? Serena slept with Nate behind Blair’s back at the Sheppard wedding.”

“Gossip Girl, eh? That’s funny,” said Devin.

“Not for you, it’s not. Sorry…I can’t forgive you.” Alex rubbed her nose and buttoned her jacket. “I’m sorry you came all this way for something I can’t give. Wait—what the hell? Why am I saying sorry to you?”

“What happened between us is the biggest regret of my life. It’s never too late to change your mind. I hope you’ll be able to forgive me one day.”

“You’re going to be waiting a long time, Devin.” Alex spat out her gum and hurled it into the Thames.

“Are you…seeing anyone?” His eyebrows pinched together. “That bartender guy back there, the one with his hand on your waist…”