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I stopped near the dock and stared at the water. The lake was still. Almost perfectly smooth. It reflected the pale sky in broken pieces, disturbed only by the occasional ripple from the wildlife beneath the surface.

I’d spent my entire existence learning how to control my body. Every stroke. Every breath. Every turn. Discipline had always been easier than admitting the truth. Muscles didn’t ask questions. Laps didn’t demand answers.

Alvin did, though.

A branch snapped behind me. I turned. Omar stood several feet away, carrying a duffel bag over one shoulder and a backpack in the other hand. His hair was still damp, though I couldn’t tell if he’d showered or if the morning mist had gotten to him. Either way, he looked exhausted.

“You’re leaving?” I nodded towards his bags.

“Good morning to you too,” he mumbled in reply.

I glanced at the cabins, where I could practically feel Alvin waiting for me. I didn’t make any move to go back. Even though I knew I should have. Then I looked to Omar, who appeared to be watching me carefully.

“Why?” I asked him.

He walked past me and set his bags on the nearest bench by the dock. He checked the straps twice, like he needed something to do with his hands.

“You don’t have to leave because of last night.”

Omar’s jaw tightened. He didn’t ask how I knew what happened. Probably because he didn’t have to. Everyone seemed to know what was going on at this camp. Everyone but me, I suppose.

“I’m not leaving because of last night.”

“Then why?”

Omar looked over at me. “Because I’m not interested in spending the rest of the week watching you destroy him.”

Denial was my most natural reaction. Denial was comforting. It always had been. So I swallowed hard and shook my head. “I’m not destroying anyone,” I said, even though I knew it was a lie.

“No?” Omar laughed. “You don’t want him but no one else can have him either, huh? That right?”

“No…” I shoved my hands into my pockets to keep them from fidgeting. “That’s not it.”

“Sure it’s not. And I’m sure it feels great to be Alvin. To feel like you’re not good enough for the one person who means everything to you.”

“He’s too good.” I looked down, my eyes focusing on the tips of my shoes and not the reality a few feet away in that cabin.

“I know that. You know that. But Alvin doesn’t know that,” Omar countered.

The sky had begun to brighten with the rising sun, the light catching on the water and the wet boards beneath my feet.

“He said he wanted me,” I muttered under my breath.

I didn’t know why I was talking to Omar, of all people. Maybe because he understood. Maybe because we both cared about Alvin. Or maybe it was as simple as him being here, and it being nice to have my own thoughts spit back at me in someone else’s voice.

“And you said what?” Omar asked. I shrugged a shoulder, and he sighed. “Exactly.”

“I was surprised.”

“You were scared.”

“I’m still scared.”

“Good. You should be scared, D’Angelo,” Omar grunted. “Because Alvin isn’t some guy you can fuck around with when it’s convenient and then ignore when it’s not. He’s a human being. Not a fucking game.”

“I know that.”

“Do you?” Omar picked up one of his bags and turned towards the path that led to the parking lot. “You don’t deserve him,” he said. Under his breath but loud enough for me to hear it.