Page 36 of Vayn

“I won’t smile at him again,” I told them.

Vayn’s eyes widened. “You said it. You can’t just say stuff and not do it.”

“Yeah, I said it. And it’s a promise I’ll keep.”

Vayn rubbed the back of his neck, looking uncomfortable. This was probably a little too much for him to handle. He’s lucky I was feeling much better after my cry. I was going to let them off easy this time.

“Thanks for apologizing. I’m going to study a little before my next class.”

Vayn nodded. “We’ll be back to escort you to class.”

“Okay.”

“Is it okay if we leave?” he asked.

I chuckled. “Yes, go.”

They all said their goodbyes and left me again. For real, this time. I think. I turned around to find Charm still there.

“Why didn’t you go?” I asked. “I’m okay. I promise.”

“I owe you a secret,” he told me.

“Oh, right. Do you really want to share it with me?”

He nodded.

“Okay. I’m listening.”

“I’m a shadow. You know this. But you may not know what that means to me. It means I’m not real.”

I held in my gasp at his revelation. “You are real.”

He smiled, but it was a sad smile. “I’m an extension of Vayn. I’m an overflow of his emotions. If he didn’t exist, I wouldn’t exist. If he hadn’t become a Fallen, I wouldn’t be here today. I’m here because he sinned. I’m a punishment...”

“You’re not,” I told him. “In the history books...”

“The history books don’t tell it all. My first memory is one of pain. I was born when Vayn lost his wings and slammed into the earth, broken and battered in his new earthly form. He couldn’t bear all the pain, anger, rage, and other emotions going through him. So, he was splintered. To stay alive, he had to be splintered. Because if he had died, he wouldn’t have been able to be punished. Shadows are punishments to the Fallen. The Fallen are forced to live in these earthly bodies. They can never be whole again. They can never be as strong as they once were. I exist to keep Vayn from being strong enough to cause a rebellion again.”

Damn. I’d never thought of it that way.

“Vayn doesn’t treat me like I’m a punishment. He doesn’t treat any of us like a punishment. Yet, that doesn’t change how I think of myself. I believe a lot of shadows feel like punishments to their Fallen. Because I feel that way, I’ve tried not to burden Vayn much. I only show up when he needs me. And usually, I’m only needed when it’s time to kill. Until you. You’ve given me a new reason to exist. You make me feel like less of a punishment and more of a blessing. Protecting you makes us all feel like we deserve to be alive.”

“Charm,” I whispered as the tears flowed again.

He wiped my tears away. “So, forgive us if we become overbearing. This is our first time truly feeling something other than anger and self-loathing. This is our first time living. Okay, beautiful?”

I nodded, too choked up to say the word back to him. He kissed my forehead again.

“Go study. Vayn and the others are probably at home beating themselves up about the way they behaved. I’ll let them suffer for a while, then tell them that we all have to do better. See you later, Destiny Porter.”

“See you later, Charm Shadow-Fallen.”

His eyes widened briefly. A flicker of hurt flared within those dark depths. “Shadows don’t get last names. Only the Fallen share the surname Shadow-Fallen.”

“You don’t get to have a last name? Says who?”

He cocked his head. “The council. I guess. It’s how it’s always been.”