Page 36 of Bloom in Darkness

Astra goes completely still at that, Caelan catching the reaction just as quickly as I do. “I’m not saying that’s what’ll happen to you. I’m saying I don’t know enough yet.”

I lean forward, elbows on my knees. “You should’ve told us.”

Astra looks toward the door, his voice going flat. “I didn’t know I was supposed to report everything I do.”

I push to my feet, stopping before I’m fully upright when Astra steps back fast enough to make me leave my hands hanging uselessly at my sides.

“I’m not mad because you hid something from me.” My voice comes out rough, but I leave it that way. “I’m mad because you’re hurting yourself to get through a job that already takes too much from you, and I didn’t know.” I look at the jar on the table. “I don’t know what to do with that.”

Astra studies me for several seconds. “You’re not leaving?”

“No.” The word comes out hard enough that his eyes lift back to mine. “I’m pissed off. I’m scared. I’d still rather break that jar in half than look at it.” I stay where I am. “I’m not leaving.”

Some of the tension finally leaves Astra’s shoulders as he sinks onto the edge of the chair beside his bag, dragging both hands over his face and staying like that long enough that I think the conversation might be over.

“Being scented helps,” Astra says into his palms.

Caelan leans forward without crowding him. “How?”

Astra lets his hands fall into his lap. “I use less when I smell like you two. Or when I know I’m seeing you after.” His eyes drop as soon as he admits it. “I don’t know why.”

My fingers tighten around the edge of the chair, caught somewhere between relief that we help and the urge to drag him out of Sabine’s club before he ever needs the stuff again.

Caelan leans back, thinking. “You’re using less on nights you know you’re coming back to us.”

Astra nods without looking up, giving Caelan a second to absorb it before his attention shifts back to the jar. “Okay. That matters.”

Astra follows his gaze. “I still need it for work.”

“I know you still have to get through your shifts.” I hate the words as much as he probably hates saying them, but pretending otherwise won’t make Sabine disappear.

Astra’s mouth tightens. “You’re not throwing it away.”

“No,” Caelan says.

“And you’re not telling Sabine.”

Caelan’s answer comes just as quickly. “Not without talking to you first.”

Astra looks at me next, and I hate the jar, hate him needing it, hate leaving it within reach. None of that gives me the right to make the decision for him, so I nod once.

Caelan reaches for the jar and turns it carefully in his hand. “We look at what’s actually in this. We figure out how much you’re using and how often. Then you decide what you want to do.”

Astra leans back and closes his eyes for a few seconds, looking exhausted enough that some of the fight goes out of me as I walk over and stop close enough for him to decide whether he wants me there. When Astra opens his eyes, he looks up at me for a moment before reaching out.

I sit beside him as Astra folds into my side. My arm goes around him, his head settling against my shoulder while I hold him a little tighter. Caelan shifts forward on the sofa and offers one hand, Astra taking it without moving away from me. For a while, none of us says another word about the jar sitting on the table.

Astra’s body gets heavier against mine until I can tell he’s fighting sleep. I kiss the top of his damp hair. “You’re falling asleep.”

His eyes stay closed. “You should stop noticing things.”

I pull him closer instead of arguing.

He makes a tired sound that could be an argument if he had enough energy to finish it, then curls closer with Caelan’s hand still caught in his. It doesn’t take long before he goes quiet against me.

I wait until his breathing settles before looking at Caelan. He’s staring at the jar on the table again.

“We still need the contract,” he says.