Page 49 of Date With Skates

I narrow my gaze at him, trying to figure out what he said. I heard Nico, so I can assume he’s comparing us. Probably telling me I’m as annoying as he is.

“Oh, well,” I mutter and press play. I throw my arm around him and tug him close. “Now come here and be quiet. You’re going to learn about motherfucking tree stars.”

“Yes, sir,” he says, and I hear the smile in his voice.

Chapter Twenty-Two

Étienne

My finger is cramping from taking so many pictures. Everyone who sees Nico wants a photo, and of course I don’t blame them, nor am I judging. This all comes with the territory, and I’ve become numb to it at this point. Except for my finger—it actually hurts.

It’s the end of the Olympics. We’re here to celebrate, and everyone wants to remember their time here, and all the people they met. Especially when they got to meet Olympic Gold Medalist, Nico Laurent. I think it’s exciting, so I can only imagine how other people feel.

People will start traveling home tonight, and I bet all these photos will start going up at the same time. When people are on their way to the airport, waiting for their planes, or on them, waiting to get home.

I love my cousin. I’m proud of my cousin. I’m grateful he allowed me to accompany him on this journey.

But—and maybe I’m wrong for this—I resent him a teeny tiny bit, because while he’s leaving with a medal, I’m leaving with nothing but a sad heart.

I want to blame him for it. I blame him for everything. But really, I know this isn’t his fault. Nothing could have stopped this. Nothing but ignoring Connor that night, when I saw him sleeping on the bench. But again, impulse control problems are to blame.

I save Nico from another person who tries speaking French to him, butting in and letting them know that my silly cousin is a terrible French-Canadian because he can’t speak a good word of French.

They look at him. Laugh. Then we have a quick conversation, with them telling me to tell Nico how amazing it was meeting him and congratulations. I interpret and let them know how grateful Nico is.

When they walk away, I hook my arm in Nico’s and we start to walk.

“You really should have paid more attention when we were younger,” I say through my teeth as I pull him away.

“Focusing isn’t easy sometimes,” he mutters.

“You understand it just fine.”

“Didn’t really have a choice on that when Mémé and Pépé were screaming at me to do things, and I had to figure out what the heck it was so they wouldn’t yell more.”

I sigh as we weave through people, all of them smiling and waving at my perfect cousin. The one I am a reflection of, so, even though I feel like I can’t breathe, I put a smile on my face. This isn’t about me. It’s about him. I’m a great wingman when I want to be.

“You’re in your element. How will you go home and go back to being boring?” I ask.

“I won a gold medal, Étienne. You can never call me boring again.”

“Maybe not, but you will always be my little Rabat-joie.”

I ruffle up his hair, and he shoves me away.

We laugh as we continue through the crowd, and it feels good. For a moment, I forget why I feel so shitty. For a moment, I just laugh with my cousin. It makes me feel a little better, like maybe when I get home, I won’t be miserable for the rest of my life. I can still laugh, still have fun, still be happy, and still breathe without feeling like there is an anchor sitting on my chest.

We make our way through the crowd, trying to find the USA hockey team, because, of course, we want to torture ourselves with being around them. Eventually, someone points us in the right direction. I want to go and not go at the same time. I want to see Connor, but I’m not sure I’m that good of an actor.

Can I keep my feelings a secret still? It’s getting more difficult each day.

I have to, though. For only a little longer. We’re leaving in the morning.

I spot the guys before Nico does.

“There’s your man.”

He shoves me. “Don’t say that.”