Page 42 of Any Port in a Storm

I’m exceptionally good at Taboo, so I know I’m in trouble.

After my third shot, the line where the floor meets the wall is starting to look a bit like a chevron.

“I’m going to grab some water,” I say, slipping out from under Sam’s arm. “Too much liquor. Want anything?”

“I’m okay.” He presses a quick kiss to my cheek. “I’ll hold down the fort until you come back.”

Grace’s friend, Mallory, racks up seven points in a row.

“Is that one shot? Or two? One and a half?” She wobbles on her four-inch heels. I don’t even know what her costume is supposed to be—a sexy nurse, perhaps? Whatever it is, she’s about to fall over.

“You’re slurring your words, Mallory. How about no shots, and I grab you a water?” I shout over my shoulder as I head to the kitchen. For someone so medically fragile, Grace sure does like to encourage liver-endangering debauchery.

While I’m filling glasses at the sink, I hear Alyssa’s husky alto from the alcove near my bedroom.

“I can’t do this anymore, Nick.”

“I don’t understand. What’s this about?” His words ring with desperation. I chance a peek in their direction, hoping to garner some context. Nick’s shoulders are slumped, but hers are thrown back defiantly.

“You know exactly what this is about,” Alyssa says, looking sharply to her right, where I’m holding two waters and praying for a sudden onset of invisibility.

Nick follows her gaze. I hop back into the shadows of the kitchen, trying to get out of their sight line. What the hell is going on?

“What are you saying?” Nick asks.

“Jesus. Come on.”

He reaches for her hand. “Whatever it is, I want to fix it.”

Alyssa steps backward, shaking her head. “This isn’t something we can fix.”

“I’ll do whatever you want me to,” he pleads.

She moves toward the door. “You don’t want to be with me, and we both know it.”

He just stares at her. “Alyssa⁠—”

She throws up her hands, a potent defense against his attempts at reconciliation. “Just…don’t. Okay? Please don’t. I don’t want to pretend anymore.”

“I already told you⁠—”

“I’m done, Nick. I don’t want to feel like a third wheel on a fucking Trivial Pursuit team. In my own goddamn relationship.”

“We were playing in teams of three. One of the couples had to split; there were six of us, and⁠—”

The look on Alyssa’s face is pure venom. “This is about a hell of a lot more than tonight, and I think you know it.”

Nick opens his mouth, but she cuts him off with a rough wave of her hand. “I’d suggest you take some time to sit with your thoughts and figure out what you actually want.” Alyssa grabs her purse. “I suspect you’ll be surprised at what you find.”

As the apartment door slams behind her, I watch his face fall, and it breaks my heart. I want to reach for him, hold him in my arms—tell him it’s going to be okay. Tell Alyssa that she’s making a huge mistake. Both send her packing for daring to reject him and convince her to give him another chance. Because, even though I can’t fill that role for him, I love him, and I don’t ever want to see him looking this dejected again.

Part of me is struggling to grasp how I can be feeling this warm sort of magnetism where Nick is concerned. I’m with Sam, and I know Nick and I are better as friends. Where my fiery crush used to occupy my every thought, it’s now morphed into this low, glowing pilot light—a steadier kind of love. It isn’t brotherly by any means, but it’s far deeper than just some fling.

It’s the kind of love you can set your watch to. The kind that will hold your hair back when you’re sick; the kind that knows how you like your coffee and has it ready when you wake up, no questions asked. The sort of steady familiarity that finishes your sentences and parses your subtext, no matter who else is in the room. It’s a love deeper than butterflies, more intense than a crush—and I don’t quite know what to make of that.

All I know right now is Nick needs me.

The Taboo revelers have moved to Grace’s bedroom, where they’re apparently doing some sort of karaoke on her TV, but Nick’s withdrawn, like a shell of his former self, to the living room couch.