Page 110 of Beautiful Place By the Sea

“Oh, absolutely.”

“Really? Because we just passed the pharmacy.” I point out the window.

“Huh. Oops.” He shrugs nonchalantly.

“Thanks for taking care of me back there.”

His voice slides into a more serious register. “Always.”

Oliver offers to drop me off at Beach Haven, but I don’t want to box up my feelings right now. I need fresh air; I need to be one with the horizon—to feel endless.

I suggest a walk on the Marginal Way, and Oliver agrees readily. We walk hand in hand, meandering along the gardens and the cliffs, speaking very little, but feeling so much. Every step echoes in time with the beat of my heart, goading me further along the path to healing.

When we get to the bench from Eleanor’s diary, I ask if we can sit down. I close my eyes and breathe in the salty air drifting up the cliffs from the Atlantic; comforted by the fact that it’s the same air my grandmother breathed when she sat here with the man she loved.

“That’s the piece that’s still missing,” I say aloud.

“What is?” Oliver runs his hand through my hair.

“Why did my grandmother marry him?” I ask desperately. “How did she stay, all that time, knowing he didn’t love her like that? And what happened to the man from her diary?”

In the light of day, Oliver’s eyes blend right in with the ocean. They both sparkle the same brilliant blue in the sun. He blinks slowly. “I know Simon said that Janie knows. But I think there’s someone else.”

He’s right. I know he’s right. I inhale sharply. “I need to call my dad.”

Even though I know what I have to do, I’m dreading it with every fiber of my being. I suggest dinner in Perkins Cove, then a long stroll back to town. We stop for blueberry pie ice cream, then watch the sun set over the waves. I never want my time with Oliver to end, but there’s another reason I don’t want to go home tonight. I know the minute I’m alone, I’m going to feel compelled to dial my father’s number.

Eventually, the sky glints black on the ocean, and I begrudgingly admit it’s time. “I need to check on my dad,” Oliver says after he kisses me goodnight. “Otherwise, I’d stay.” I’m sure he’s telling the truth to an extent, but it’s obvious the real reason he’s heading home is to give me the space to make this call.

I stand on tiptoe and wrap my arms around his neck. “I love you.”

He pulls me tight to him. “I love you back.”

thirty-two

After Oliver leaves, I key in the door code. Beach Haven is dark, save for the moonlight lilting in through the living room window. Laurel had texted me earlier to say she was going to a party with Porter and his friends, and not to expect her back for several hours.

I haven’t had a chance to ask her how things are going with her attempts at a platonic relationship with Porter. Admittedly, I’ve been rather distracted recently. I’ll have to make time for a heart-to-heart with her soon.

Plopping down on the couch, I warily drag my cell phone from my pocket. I feel stuck in a bit of a duality right now; a Schrödinger’s box in which my life both is, and very much isn’t, what I’ve always known it to be. But with the revelation about Charlie out in the open, I don’t see any option other than to press on. I have to know the whole truth.

The phone rings twice before my father answers. “Ivy Bean!” He sounds excited to hear from me.

“Hey, Dad. How’s it going?” I aim for as gentle a tone as possible. The rest of this conversation may not be easy.

I hear papers shuffling in the background. “Just going through some things here in my office,” he replies. “A great way to spend a beautiful summer night.”

“Tell me about it,” I chuckle, as if I’m doing the same thing. My chest is thick with anxiety. I’m not thinking particularly clearly, and it’s starting to impede my ability to form coherent sentences.

“So, what’s new with you?”

I know that Dad’s really asking why I’m calling him. I decide to cut to the chase. “I learned something today. Something I think you already know.”

“Oh?” His voice rings with trepidation.

I take a deep breath. “Dad, your father was in love with Simon.”

Complete and utter silence, just like when I first mentioned the diary to him.