Page 119
“Really?”
I tweaked her nose. “Really. Isn’t that so, Shadow?” His tail thumped before becoming a helicopter. “Shadows knows all.”
Mina’s giggle made me a feel a little better, but she still had a faraway look in her eyes. “Papa doesn’t like holidays.”
“He doesn’t?”
She shook her head. “He says they remind him of Mama too much.”
“Ah, honey. Heartache can take a long time to even begin to heal, but your daddy loves you so very much. He enjoys holidays because of you.”
“Do you want to see a picture of her?”
Her question felt so private, as if she was trusting me with her whole world. As soon as I tried to answer, I realized I had tears in my eyes. “I would love to see one.”
Reaching over me, she pulled on the knob for her nightstand. Inside was a frame that she handed me. “That’s Mommy. I don’t remember her, but she’s beautiful just like you are.” After tracing her mother’s face with her finger, she peered up at me with hopeful eyes, her smile capable of lighting up the world. I would do anything in my power to keep her safe and help her to experience joy.
“She is beautiful and you’re going to look exactly like her.”
That garnered me a hug as well as a deep yawn. I held her for a couple of minutes.
“We have the same birthday,” Mina said after pulling away.
“Oh, you do, huh?” The ache in my heart was growing.
“February 28th. I’m going to be six years old.”
“Why don’t I put the picture right here for you to see if you wake up.”
“I don’t keep it out cause it makes Daddy sad.”
“How about this one time?”
Her nose wrinkled as she thought about my request. “Okay.”
I closed the book, took an exaggerated deep breath, and placed the picture on her nightstand. “Soon to be an adult.” As soon as I climbed out of bed, she scooched down so I could adjust the covers. “What do you want for your big girl birthday?”
She acted as if she’d never been asked that question before. “A birthday party. Papa says they’re… perilas.”
Perilous? A birthday party. “Oh, he did, huh?”
The little wonder nodded profusely. “Papa is silly sometimes.”
“Yes, he is. Maybe I’ll have a chat with him. First, you need to get to sleep so Santa will be able to come.”
“O-tay.” Like clockwork, Shadow crawled closer, offering a sweet smile of his own before laying his head on the corner of her pillow.
I had so many dreams for her, so many wishes.
But I wasn’t her mother.
After turning on her special lamp I’d found for her in a quaint little shop, I moved toward the door. She was staring at the little mermaid designs made by the lampshade on the wall.
“Night, sweetie. Dream of Santa.”
“I will.”
As soon as I left her room, I leaned against the wall. I could hear Christmas music playing from the stereo downstairs. I’d insisted on trying to keep her spirits up. We’d watched every holiday cartoon I could find.
