Page 87 of These Wicked Hearts

“Is that new hobby going to be using this on your hot behemoth?” He waves a toy around.

I go to tell him to fuck off then look at the toy in his hand. “Wait, let me see that?”

His face scrunches up but he hands it to me. I look at the obscenely thick toy. It comes with a suction cup, and I see the name at the bottom. The Bruce Banner. Dark green with thick veins running up the shaft. An idea comes to mind, and I can’t unthink it now. “I’m getting it.”

Chen looks horrified. “That thing is insane.”

“It’s perfect.” It’s funny, and I know Atlas will find it funny too.

Maybe he’ll want to use it.

It’s a little too big for me, but maybe for him. I look up at my friend.

“Oh, I am going to be unbearable about this,” he says.

“Can you shut up.” But Chen looks elated.

“I need like, all the details.”

“Come on.” I tug him out of the room, checking around to make sure we’re still the only ones in here, and walk to the counter. My face heats a bit as I set it down while trying not to make eye contact. “Will this be uh, all?”

I clear my throat. “Uh, yeah.”

“Brings a whole new meaning to Hulk smash, am I right?”

I slap Chen in the stomach, but something catches my eye. “What’s that?”

The man looks over at the flashlight on the counter

“It’s a bat signal.” He grabs it and turns it on then points it, displaying the light.

“Can I get that too.”

“A bat signal?”

Warmth spreads through my chest. I’m getting more excited about this by the moment.

“Talk about a gag gift.” The guy laughs at Chen.

I look up at the man who seems a few shades redder, then I pay for my things and wait so Chen can buy his action figure.

“Why are you getting it?”

“Because he looks sick, man. Maybe I can ask that fine man you’re seeing about him. I bet he knows all about this nerdy shit.” He looks at the man. “No offense.” He thinks. “Actually, full offense for that Riot Heart comment. They’re incredible musicians.”

“If you like mediocre radio rock.”

My friend goes still.

“Right, uh, thank you. We’ll be going now.” I tug my friend away before he can commit any crimes.

“Mediocre radio rock. Fuck that guy.” He shakes his head, but I hate to say it.

I think he might be right.

NINETEEN

Atlas